CHAPTER TWENTY
Pet
The following morning, I sleep late. I’m not sure where Ares is, but I roll around naked between his sheets for far too long. I’m tempted to slide my hand between my legs and play with my pussy, but he’d know.He always knows.
Instead, I climb out of bed, wincing as my muscles protest. I walk to the bathroom and study my naked frame. There are bruises everywhere. I’m an artwork, a masterpiece of my Master’s creation. I poke the heart-shaped bruise over my breast, and press my thumb hard into the discolored flesh. It no longer hurts. It’s just another mark he made, another brand.
As much as I am capable.
His words come back to me like a knife thrust into my heart. I swallow hard around the lump in my throat, and force back my tears as I run the tub. I don’t bother with the oils Ares usually adds. My heart isn’t in it.
I let my hair splay out all around me in the water, and I hold my breath and sink beneath the surface. Bubbles escape my nose and rise to the surface. Underwater, everything is blurred, calm, quiet.Safe.
I close my eyes and when I open them again, my Sir, my salvation and my tormenter, is staring down at me with an ugly sneer on his face. He reaches in and pulls me up. I cough and shrink away from his touch.
“What the fuck were you doing? Trying to kill yourself? Is that it?”
Kill myself? I shake my head. “No, Sir, I was only . . .”
But I don’t finish that sentence because I don’t know how. Was I trying to kill myself?
“Get the fuck out of the tub, now.”
I scramble to do as I’m told. I slip on the slick floor and go down in a heap. Ares stares at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind. I hurry and kneel in front of him. He grips my hair, hard. My hands fly to his wrist, clawing at him to stop the pain. He hauls me to my feet. His face is red, his eyes as black and fathomless as I’ve ever seen, and then he lets me go. I’d probably topple if his arms weren’t wrapped around me so tightly I can barely breathe.
“Don’t ever do that to me again, Pet.”
I sob into his embrace. I can’t get enough air. I can’t get enough Sir. How did I get so fucked up? How did I fall in love with a man who can’t love me back? “I’m s-sorry, Sir.”
“Don’t scare me like that.”
“No . . . no, Sir.”
He grabs my face in his hands and searches my gaze. I feel like I’m not really here. As if I’m still underwater, but I’m weightless, no longer connected to the earth, to my Sir. I don’t understand. I only meant to soak in the tub. I have no recollection of sinking beneath the water. I know I must have, but what compelled me to do it?
“Jesus, Pet.” He pulls me close again and holds me so tightly I fear I might break. “God, you scared the shit out of—”
“What happened to my birds?” The question springs from my lips, and I close my eyes remembering that room. Wondering if they’re outside and still trying to get back in the cage. I got back in, and now I feel as if I’m banging my head against the door begging to be let out, but there is no escape a second time.
“What?”