A tight smile plays on his lips. “I meant what I said earlier.”
“About what, specifically?”
“About being sober when I asked you to marry me.”
“Gabe.”
“Don’t you wanna marry me, Freckles?”
“I just broke up with my boyfriend.”
“And you still didn’t ask him, did you?”
“Ask him what?” I say impatiently. Maybe coming here wasn’t the right decision. I should be with Mace right now, begging him to take me back, pleading with him to stay. But I’m not. I’m here, getting drunk with my best friend, the man who started this whole mess.
“You didn’t ask him to stay. You didn’t offer to marry him so he could stay in the country. You let him walk away, Lo. What does that tell you?”
“That any relationship I have is doomed to fail because you’re always going to be in the way.”
“I’m always going to be the right man for you.”
“How can you say that? You don’t love me like that, Gabe.”
“How do you know?”
“Fine, say I marry you, what then?”
“Then you make me the happiest man on the planet.”
“Have you ever stopped to consider that the reason we work is because we’re not together?”
“No, because I don’t accept that bullshit. You and me, Freckles, we’re meant to be. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it whatever the fuck you want, but you’re always gonna be my everything, and I’m always gonna be yours.”
I shake my head. “This isn’t healthy, what we do to one another.”
“What do we do to one another?”
“We’re just ... we’re never on the same page. It’s never the right time, but maybe ... maybe time has nothing to do with it. Maybe it’s not time that’s the problem, maybe it’s just that you’re not the right person.”
Gabe cups my cheeks and tilts my face up to his. “Lo, I—”
“Don’t.” I sob as fresh tears spill over my lashes. I’ve spent so long dreaming of this moment, but my heart is completely torn in two. “I can’t do this now. Not to him, and not to me. You knew how I felt about you, and you never made a move. You never told me and now I don’t know how I feel. I’m heartbroken, Gabe. I love him and he’s leaving, and I just need my best friend.” I pull his hands away from my face and hold them in my lap. “I need Gabe who’ll drink with me and tell me that Mace is a jerk, not Gabe who wants to sleep with me, not the Gabe who wants to win this fucked up pissing contest for my affection that the two of you have always had.”
“I never looked at you like a competition.”
“You never looked at me like anything.”
His brow furrows. “Jesus. Did you ever see me at all?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m in love with you, Lo. I’ve been in love with you since the day we fucking met. But Mace was right. I was too pussy to do anything about it.”
“You got back with Annie.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t a fucking idiot.”
He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m crazy about you, Freckles.”