I frown and watch his retreating form, wondering why he’s so pissed. I turn to Gabe and study his smug face. “Why is he so mad about this?”
“Probably because he’s had a boner for you since the first day you walked into my shop.”
“Uh-uh. Not even.”
“Yes even. I thought you knew?”
I shake my head. “How would I know if he’s never told me? I mean, there was that weird kiss at your opening, but he was drunk. I don’t even think he remembers it.”
“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ clueless. Thank God you agreed to marry me, or you might end up marrying some other idiot who has no idea how to appreciate you.”
“Oh, like you’d know how to do that.”
“I just agreed to eat you out every day for the rest of our lives, didn’t I?”
I roll my eyes and Gabe grabs my hand, leading me across the parlor. “Where are we going?”
“To make it official.”
I attempt to pull free of his grasp. “Woah! Slow your roll, big guy. We’re not thirty.”
“Yeah, but we gotta seal the deal to honor the pact.”
“Okay, so what? You have rings or something?”
“Tattoos. What’s more permanent than that?”
“Are you sure you’re sober enough to see straight? I don’t want a big old ugly tat that I’m going to regret in the morning.”
“Trust me, Freckles, whether they’re holding my tattoo gun to your flesh, caressing your sweet fucking curves, or buried inside your pussy, my hands are always steady.”
My eyes glaze over, and I swallow hard to prevent any drool from escaping. And yeah, okay. Maybe this marriage thing won’t be so bad after all.
CHAPTER NINE
Lo
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I roll over and hit my alarm, pissed that it won’t stop ringing on my day off.
“Motherfucker!” I scream, sitting up and yanking it from the wall.
Laughter, rich and warm, rolls over me and I catapult out of bed, grabbing hold of the closest thing on the nightstand and wielding it like a weapon as I spin to face my assailant.
“Jesus, Freckles. What are you gonna do, bludgeon me to death with your dildo?”
My heart beats out a frantic rhythm against my ribcage. “Gabe! What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I was coming to steal you away but”—his eyes lower to the dildo in my hands and he licks his lips— “I see you’ve already got your hands full.”
I throw the giant rubber tentacle at his head, but Gabe being Gabe, plucks it from midair and studies the object of my mortification with a chuckle. “Jeez, Lo. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“What the fuck are you doing in my room, Gabe?”
“Clem let me in.” He shrugs and turns the dildo over in his hands. “Why is your dildo shaped like a tentacle with suckers?”
“It’s a Bad Dragon. Monster porn is very popular these days.”