“I guess I really should buy you dinner then.”
“Guess so.”
I leave Vixen to get dressed and head to the front counter once I’m done tidying up my space. Everyone else left hours ago, but I like to keep clients like Miss Van Tease to after-hours appointments, for both her modesty and mine. The last thing Ineed is the guys here when my client is completely naked and splayed in front of me, and I’m sporting a hard-on.
Vixen hands me her card and I swipe it and tally the machine before we close up and head out.
I’ve spent countless hours tattooing this woman, but I had no idea she was so funny. Despite the guilt at letting Lo’s calls go straight to voice mail, I’ve had a decent night. Miss Van Tease has consumed entirely too much liquor, and I should not have encouraged her, because the woman is infallible.
I had no intention of sticking my dick in her, but I also didn’t feel right letting her get a cab home by herself three sheets to the wind, so I guess I only have myself to blame when she shoves me down on the couch and stumbles into my lap.
“Hey, take it easy. You’re gonna ruin that fresh ink.”
“I want you, Gabe.” She angles her face and leans in to kiss my lips. I kiss her back, but it’s more out of politeness than desire.Fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve got a goddamned smoking hot pinup girl wanting to ride my dick and all I can think about is my wife, all I want, all I see, all I crave is Lo.
“Vixen, slow down.”
“Don’t you want me?” She slips her hand down over my chest and abs, trailing lower by the second.
I grab her wrist and gently ease it away from my body. “Look, you’re fucking gorgeous. I mean, you are literally the stuff wet dreams are made of, but I’m ... I can’t fuck you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m in love with someone else.”
“Your ex-wife? She doesn’t have to know. I mean, she leftyou. What a stupid bitch.”
My grip on her hand tightens.
“Ow!”
“That’s the mother of my child you’re talking about.”
“Is that what she has over you? That she popped out a kid? Guess what? My pussy is way tighter than hers will ever be.”
I get up, unseating her from my lap. “You don’t get to say shit about Lo.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Her pretty face twists in a sneer, and all I see is her ugliness on the inside and the mountain of insecurities she covers with her pinup persona.
“Find a new fucking artist, I’m done working with your sorry ass.”
“Gabe!”
“No. Fuck you, Vixen. Or should I say, Amanda? You don’t ever disrespect the mother of my kid like that.”
“You asshole.”
“Just, think about the situation you’re in. I tell you I don’t want to sleep with you because I’m in love with someone else, someone you don’t even fucking know, but you still feel the need to put her down because you’re threatened. And I’m the asshole?”
“Fuck you, Gabe. I saw how hard you were during our session. I see the way you’ve been looking at me all night, so don’t tell me you don’t want it. Don’t make out like you’re not hot for me.”
“Nah. See, babe, on the outside, you’re not just a ten, you’re a fucking one hundred, but you can’t hold a candle to Lo, you know why? Because inside, you’re all ugly.”
I slam the door and rest against it, trying to steady my breathing. I never should have come here. I never should have agreed to go out with her in the first place. I just lost my best client because for once I decided to think with my dick and I led her on, and now my balls are blue, and I hate myself as much as I used to when I was drinking and doing hard drugs.
I head in the direction of my apartment, but I stop outside a liquor store and debate going in. I need a drink so fucking badly, I’d give my left nut for it. It only takes a few seconds to make up my mind and I stalk inside, grab a bottle of Monte Alban, and throw a couple of bills on the counter. I don’t even wait until I’ve left the store before I twist off the cap and take that first sip. But the second I do, the rush of endorphins slams into me, and the guilt eats me alive.
I head back to my apartment, and I strip off my clothes. I sit naked on my couch, a bottle in my hand, my dick in the other, and I come imagining Lo never left me, imagining it’s her pussy bouncing up and down on my dick, and I drink all the way to the worm.