“You grew up, huh? Right, that’s why you’re fucking your boss.”
“That has nothing to do with this.”
“It has everything to do with this!” I roar. “You changed.”
“Yeah, and you didn’t.” She lowers her gaze and stares at her hand balled around the bloody dish towel. “I think we just ... we need some distance.”
“Kinda hard to do that when we share a kid.”
“Maybe, I need to look at another house to lease, or—” She closes her eyes, refusing to meet mine. “We can’t keep doing this, drudging up the past. We’re not together anymore. We don’t work anymore.”
“Bullshit. You don’t want us to work anymore. That’s what this really comes down to.”
“You can’t be mad at me for sleeping with him, Gabe. I’m not yours anymore, and you’ve been with other women, so how is that fair? How is it right that I should have to be alone, and you can fuck anyone who sits their hot little ass in your chair?”
I grab her face and dare her to meet my gaze. “Because they don’t matter. They meant fucking nothing. They don’t belong to me.”
She presses her hands to mine and gently pulls them away. Tears spill over her lashes as she says, “Neither do I.”
“Lo, you’re the mother of my kid. You’re my whole life.”
“And you’re mine, but we can’t be together. We just can’t.”
“So what? You’re gonna date the fuckin’ Spanish dude from now on? How’s that gonna work when he’s paying your wages?”
“Mexican,” she snaps and then shakes her head. “I don’t know where Art and I stand, Gabe. Especially after what you just pulled. I didn’t plan on sleeping with my boss, and I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“You didn’t mean to kiss him on our wedding night either, but look how that turned out.”
Her shoulders sag in defeat. “We’re just talking in circles. Whether or not I sleep with my boss—or fuck all of Venice—it’s none of your business. I’m not doing it to hurt you, I’m doing it to move on.”
“Why do you need help to move on? Shouldn’t that tell you something?”
Her eyes narrow and her beautiful kissed-stung mouth forms a hard line. “I wasn’t the one who screwed us in the first place.”
I scrub a hand over my beard and stare up at the ceiling. “Jesus. I’ve put in the fucking work, Lo. I’m attending meetings. I haven’t touched a drop in years. Haven’t smoked either. I’m trying to be the man you deserve, but you won’t let me live down my mistakes. When are you gonna let that shit go?”
“Honestly? Probably never. You broke us, Gabe.That shitis the reason we’re not together. It’s the reason you and I will never work.”
I glare as if she just slapped me.
“I know how hard you’ve worked, and I am so fucking proud of you, but I can’t risk you slipping up again. At the worst time in my life, you weren’t there. I needed you, and you let me down. You letusdown.”
“Yeah, I got that part. But I’ve lived every day since trying to make it up to you, and it’s still not enough.” I walk out through the French doors and past the curious stares of our partygoers. I’m almost at the back gate when Axl runs up to me with big, sad eyes and throws himself around my legs. “Hey, little dude. What’s up?”
“Where are you going?”
I pry his arms from around me and squat at his level, cupping his little cheeks in my palms. “I’ve just ... er ... I gotta head home for a bit.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“And miss out on the cake? No way, man. You stay with Mommy, show her how much you appreciate all the hard work she put in to giving you the best dinosaur rainbow party ever.”
“No. I wanna go with you!” he cries.
I glance around at all of these people we don’t know. The last thing I want is to ruin this party for him, so I paste a smile on my face, pick up my son, and settle him on my hip. “How about I stay, and we eat our body weight in cake, huh?”
Lo stands on the tiny porch staring at the two of us with tears in her eyes.Fuck. I hate myself for doing this to her, for ruining our kid’s birthday, but I don’t regret making my feelings known. What she chooses to do with them is up to her. It’ll break my heart to see her with Arturo, but I must be a fucking chump because I love her enough to want her to be happy ... even if that’s not with me.