“Then stop pissing her off!” Healer shouted back. “She’s mean!”
“Okay everyone, calm down,” I ordered firmly, helping Remi back onto the bed. “Healer, take Reaper to another room and make sure she didn’t break anything.”
The second Healer had Reaper out of the room, I turned to Remi, who was sulking on the bed. She was close to tears. I felt for her. I really did. No mother wanted to be separated from their baby, especially so soon after the birth.
“Remi?”
“I can’t do this Jess. I miss him so much. How can I love someone so fast? It hurts. My heart hurts, my boobs hurt and my arms feel empty. I miss my son.” She cried.
Sitting next to her, I held her as she cried.
I knew why Reaper sent all the kids away and part of me agreed with him but in Remi’s case, it was different. She was missing out on the bonding with her son. Her own body had been through a massive trauma and those precious days after, was her time to seal that bond.
That was denied to her.
Yes, Reaper did what he did to protect his son and the kids but he was also wrong to take his son away from his mother. The only way Remi would fully heal was to have her son around. There was something magical between a newborn and its mother. She needed him as much as he needed her.
“Jessie, can you talk to him please. Healer doesn’t understand. You do. You are a woman. You get it. You know what I’m going through. I can’t do this without him. I need my son.”
I wiped her tears and said, “I will talk with Reaper. I can’t promise you anything but I will talk with him. In the meantime, I want you to rest. Okay. Now, let me look you over, then I will go talk with Reaper.”
“Thank you.” Remi sniffed.
I spent a little more time with Remi. More than I needed to but I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t jump from the bed again and really try and kill Reaper. When I knew she was calm, I left her and searched for Reaper.
I didn’t have to look far.
The president of the Golden Skulls was sitting on one of the beds in the main room on the phone with someone. When I approached, I heard him say, “Just make it happen today, Ravage. All of them. I don’t care about the money. Just let Ghost know the time. Thanks man.” He finished, disconnecting the call before looking at me.
“Don’t say it,” He grimaced as he shifted on the bed.
“She’s very upset.”
“I know.”
“Are they coming home?”
“Today.”
“Good. I’ll help with the pick-up.”
“You’d do that?”
“Your son is a newborn. I know that Ari and her mother Roxy are capable of handling all those kids but your son was just born. I would feel better checking on him myself.”
“I fucked up, didn’t I? I mean with Remi and my son.”
Shaking my head, I didn’t really know what to say. The situation was dicey. He was damned if he did and dammed if he didn’t. There was no right answer. “I think you did what any new father would do in your situation. I get that you want your son safe. If Remi could have travelled, I know you would have sent her with him. This whole situation was messed up Reaper. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Once Remi has her son back in her arms, she will be happy and so will you.”
“I miss him,” Reaper admitted. “I never thought I’d feel this way. I love Remi. She is my world. If something were to happen to her, I’d lose my shit. But my son. I can’t explain it. I never thought I’d feel…”
Sitting next to him, I whispered. “I don’t claim to know what you and Remi are going through. I can only tell you what I’ve seen. In all my years of nursing, I’ve helped many parents welcome their children into this world. I’ve noticed that the bond that everyone talks about isn’t just between mother and child, Reaper. I have watched several times where the father falls hopelessly in love with his child. It's a love so strong, that nothing in this universe can break. Just because you are the President of this big bad motorcycle club, doesn’t mean you are immune to love. It’s okay to love your son, Reaper. He’s going to need you. More than you know. Just let yourself feel what you feel.”
“I don’t know what I feel, Jess. I can’t explain it. My mother was a bitch. I want to think she loved me but she was evil. My father, the man I thought was my dad, there were moments but even he wasn’t around. My biological father was a maniacal dick. What kind of father will I be?”
“You will be the best father you can be. Your parentage doesn’t dictate what you will do. You know what kind of life you want for your son. Don’t let your past interfere with that. Just be there for him and if you ever feel you are going off the rails or making a mistake, come see me. I don’t mind putting you in your place.” I grinned.
“You would too.” He smiled.