I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. I just knew that Jess needed a few minutes to herself. She had been put through the ringer lately with returning to Florida, seeing Toxic, being taken by a fucking stranger and returning to her mother’s home. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, I unloaded on her. She had been bombarded with emotions and needed a second or two to get her head on straight. I could at least give her that. “Let’s give her a few minutes, okay. The rest of you spread out. Check the place out and make sure no unwanted visitors are around.”
“Sure, thing brother,” Judge replied, as he and the others all walked off in different directions.
As much as I wanted to give her space, I couldn’t.
I was drawn to her like a moth to a light.
I found her standing in the middle of a small cabin. Three small beds were crammed into a room that couldn’t be any bigger than a ten by ten. I would never know how three little girls managed to live in this small space.
“We had so much fun here,” Jess said, softly not looking at me as she stared off into space. She was off in her own world here but not really here. Kitty got like that sometimes when she had a lot on her mind and needed to process things. I would just sit and listen to her ramble on for hours at a time until she figured out whatever it was that was bothering her. For Jess, I’d listen forever if that’s what she needed. “For weeks I couldn’t wait to get here. To see them. Kitty and Jodi. We would write each other every week until summer. We talked a lot about nothing, just school, boys and what drama we had with our parents. Jodi especially. She never got along with her mother.”
“You never mentioned Jodi.”
“She was Kitty’s age. I was the youngest but they never teased me about it. Jodi was from Wisconsin. Her family owned a dairy farm. She hated it. She wanted to move to a big city, live in a fancy penthouse, and never worry about money again.”
“What happened to her?”
“She was killed by a drunk driver when she was thirteen. Her family was driving home from church when they were hit. Jodi was the only one who didn’t survive.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. That first summer without her was hard but Kitty and I found a way through it. I still think about Jodi sometimes. She was so sweet. She loved strawberry ice-cream.”
“Did you get another roommate after her?”
“No. For the next few summers Kitty and I had this cabin all to ourselves. We preferred it that way. I have so many good memories here. My life away from the club. This place was a refuge for me. Here I could be a little girl. There were no expectations.”
“I’m happy you both had that,” I said, sitting on one of the small beds.
“I know I don’t express my feelings like I should. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s because I’m scared. I've had this guard up for as long as I can remember. Watching Toxic and my mother, I thought that was how love was supposed to be. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that loving someone wasn’t supposed to hurt. That’s why I never dated. Never had a boyfriend. I didn’t want a relationship like my mother’s, but you happened. When Reaper asked me to take care of you after Kitty’s death, I didn’t want to. In my head I always blamed the Golden Skulls for my mother’s death. But the club didn’t kill her, Toxic did. I know that logically, but I can’t help thinking that he could have been different if he wasn’t in the club.”
“Any person is capable of killing someone, regardless of who they are.”
“I know that. About a year ago a family of five was brought into the hospital. A mother and her three kids were stabbed to death. We tried to save them but they were already gone. The police suspected the father, until he was found next door, dead. Their neighbor, an elderly man, killed them all over a piece of trash that had blown into his yard the previous day from a storm. A piece of trash.”
She was breaking my heart. I hated seeing her like this. There was no life in her. No emotion. I wanted her to scream, get angry anything but just stand there like some emotionless robot. Whatever was going on in her head was really fucking with her. I wanted so much to shake the life back into her. Being back in Florida was too much for her. I just wanted to find that stupid message and get her the hell out of here…fast.
“Did you know that I had the biggest crush on you when I was younger?”
“You did?”
“It was our last summer here and Kitty and I were sharing pictures of our families. When she showed me a picture of you, I thought you were the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. You couldn’t have been more than seventeen at the time but I thought you were so handsome. I talked Kitty’s ear off that summer, soaking up everything I could about you.”
I grinned, slowly getting to my feet I walked up behind her. A millimeter of breath between our bodies, waiting for any sign that she was here with me. “You thought I was pretty?”
She turned to me and smiled. “Still do.”
“I’ll take it,” I said, before I gathered her in my arms and kissed her. I didn’t give a shit if she couldn’t tell me how she truly felt. Some people couldn’t. I knew it had to have been hard for her to open up like she did, giving me an insight into her private life. In that short time, I learned a lot about Jess, like she was an intensely compassionate woman, cared deeply for those closest to her, and thought I was pretty. That may not have been a declaration of love but it was damn close in my book and coming from her, it fueled my desire for her.
My hands went to her waist, as I walked her back against the wall, the bare wood of the cabin halting my movement. She twisted her fingers in my hair, holding me against her as I explored her mouth with my tongue.
She had to many clothes on.
Removing her leather jacket, I heard it fall to the floor while my fingers moved up her small waist to her tits. I cupped and kneaded them as my tongue delved deeper into her mouth. She gasped into my mouth when my thumb teased her nipple through the fabric. God, I loved it when she didn’t wear a bra. If I had my way, my woman would never wear one again. Her tits were perfect and I loved seeing her taught nipples through whatever shirt she was wearing.
My hand moved round to her back as I lowered my head to kiss her neck.
“Jessica,” I whispered against her soft flesh. She shivered as I whispered her name. Her real name. NotJess or Jessie. Her whole name whispered like a prayer. I said it again as a moan escaped her throat as I sucked her earlobe. She was so responsive. Every time I touched her, it was like I enflamed her, making her body crave mine.