Looking at the headstone before her, I read.‘Col. Nathan Michael Meadows. Born: 1963 Died: 2019’
Her father, I thought before I asked, “How did he die?”
“Roadside bomb in Afghanistan.”
“My father was killed in a car bomb, too,” I admitted.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just saw you and wanted to pay my respects. You looked so sad. I didn’t mean to bring up any painful memories.”
Grinning, I replied. “You did nothing of the sort. I am thankful for your kindness.”
“My father’s been dead for almost two years now, and yet it feels like yesterday I was just talking to him.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Do you think we will ever be able to move on?”
“I hope so. That’s what our parents would want. I know my father would, and I can assure you that your father would want that for you also.”
“I came here to Chicago to get away from my family and go to college. I didn’t know when I hugged him goodbye; it would be the last time.”
“None of us do. We take everything for granted. Never thinking of what the future holds.”
She turned to me and smiled. Seeing her smile was like a sucker punch to the gut. “My father used to say that time was precious. To live life in the moment, because we don’t know what the future has in store for us.”
“Your father was a smart man.”
“What about your dad?” she asked.
I really didn’t know what to say. So, I spoke from my heart, hoping the words were correct. “He would want me to move forward. Don’t look back. Continue on and live.”
She nodded and smiled. “My dad would want me to do that too. It’s just hard.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating,” I admitted to my own disbelief. I was talking to a stranger, opening up to someone I knew nothing about but our shared grief.
“That happens to me a lot.”
“How do you get past it?”
“I know this may sound weird, but I walk barefoot in the grass. Something about the soft grass beneath my feet makes me smile, and it helps soothe me. It allows me to focus and understand what I need to do.”
“That doesn’t sound weird.”
“I really am sorry about your dad. I wish there were some words of wisdom I could give you, but there aren’t any. Well, not that I have found.” Looking at her watch, she turned and looked around her. “I need to get back to school. I have a test to study for.”
“I understand. Thank you for talking with me.”
“It was my pleasure.” She smiled again, placed the chain she held in her hand and the rose on top of the headstone. Before I could react, she turned towards me, placed her small hand in mine, leaned forward, and kissed my cheek. “Grief is real. Don’t let it consume you. Fight it. Find happiness wherever you can, and smile. Don’t let death win.”
With that, she left.
I stood rooted to the ground as I watched her leave. As she walked away, I couldn’t get her words out of my head. Like a beautiful angel sent to help soothe me in my own grief, I prayed that she found the happiness she looked for. As for me, my happiness was never going to happen, for death was my friend now,and I planned on letting him loose in Chicago.
Angelo was waiting for me just like I knew he would. He never left my side, no matter the circumstance.
“Everything okay?” he asked, looking at the woman as she walked away.
“I don’t know,” looking back over my shoulder at the fading woman. There was just something about her. “Keep an eye on her. Not close, from afar. Let me know if she needs anything.”