She looked as though she might be considering it, so he continued. “In the last couple of weeks, we’ve been more flexible with work time, right?”
“Work time.” She frowned.
“Yes.” He held her hands tighter when she tried to pull free. “You can work whatever hours you want. You can take your vacations and I won’t call you out of family gatherings.”
“I see...”
“And we can be together,” he finished, pulling her up against him.
“Like we have been,” she said softly.
“Exactly.” He looked down into her eyes. “Sadie, the last couple of weeks have worked for both of us, haven’t they?”
“Yes.”
“So why change it?”
She gave him a small smile and shook her head. Ethan didn’t like what he was reading in her eyes.
“Because I want more in my life than great sex and work,” she said.
“What else is there?” Ethan demanded, though he knew damn well what her answer would be.
“Love, Ethan,” she said, meeting his gaze with an intensity that almost slapped at him. “I want someone to love. I want to be loved. I want a family of my own.”
“You have Emma,” he countered, thinking of how close she’d become to the baby over the last couple weeks. “We both know you love that baby. I can see it whenever you hold her.”
“I do. I really do. But she’s not mine, Ethan,” she said, shaking her head again. “She’s a darling, but she’s your baby. To her, I’ll never be more than someone who comes and goes from her house. Like a visiting aunt.”
“Then live there with us,” he argued.
She took a breath, blew it out and said, “You want me to live with you, have sex with you, help you raise Emma and work here for you.”
“Is that so bad?” The demand rolled from him in deep, tight tones. “For God’s sake, Sadie, we’re doing all of that now. Why not keep doing it?”
“Because it’s not enough.”
“It is for me,” he countered.
“Not for me.” She swallowed hard and added, “If I’m going to have my own life, have what’s important to me, I have to leave. To you, I’ll never be more than your lover.”
“And that’s bad?” He released her hands and didn’t let himself think how empty his hands felt.
“For me, yes,” she said. “I need more, Ethan. I deserve more.”
He couldn’t argue with that, because she did deserve everything she wanted. But he couldn’t give it to her. Wouldn’t get married again.
“Fine.” Nodding, he stepped back behind the desk, as if pulling on a suit of armor. “Well then, you’d better get busy finding your replacement here. And I’ll still need a nanny for Emma.”
“Ethan, I wish—”
He ignored that. “Get me marketing, will you? I want to have another look at the Mother’s Day campaign before it’s set in stone.”
“All right.”
“And bring me some coffee when you get a minute.”
“Sure.” Her heels tapped against the floor as she left the office.
When she was gone, he sat back in his chair and told himself to get used to that empty sensation. It was going to be with him for a long time.
* * *
“You had sex.”
“I did,” Sadie said, and picked up the wine Gina had poured for her. “Many times.”
“Finally.” Gina sighed happily, took a sip of her own wine and demanded, “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Ethan.”
Gina choked on her wine, slapped one hand to her own chest and coughed until her eyes ran. Feeling a little guilty, Sadie tried to help, but Gina shook her head and waved one hand at her. When she could finally breathe again, she cried, “What do you mean, many times? Are you crazy?”
Sadie had been asking herself that for almost two weeks now. And the answer was still the same. If she was crazy, she didn’t care. “No. He’s—”
“Don’t. Don’t even say it,” Gina told her, and took a cautious sip of her wine. “Honey, I know I told you to have sex with him, but that was to get him out of your system, not to dig him in even deeper.”