All my love,
Freya
With nothing more to lose, I leave. I get in my car, and I drive to my sister’s street. A text seems impersonal, so I slip a note under her door that I’ll call her soon and not to worry.
Then I take a detour, hoping I remember the way and that he’s here. I go to Death’s house. Not the one he shares with his wife, but the home he took me to. I pull up at the house not seeing a vehicle in the driveway. Unsure if my coming here will be welcome, I exit my car anyway.
I’ve barely taken two steps when the porch light casts over my frame. The front door swings open revealing his disheveled beard and face. I can smell the liquor on his breath before he speaks.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.”
“Thought I made it clear that we’re done.”
“I came to tell you that I’m sorry to hear about your son.”
“You drove all the way out here at this hour to say sorry for something that had nothing to do with you. Nothing of your concern.”
“I get that you’re hurting, and I wish there was something I could do or say to take your pain away. If I could bring Bensen back for you…”
“If I’d been home taking care of my boy instead of fucking you then maybe he’d still be here.”
“You blame me?” I practically choke on the words.
“Blame myself. It’s my cross to bear.”
“It isn’t anyone’s fault. What happened was tragic, but it isn’t because you felt something for me. God isn’t punishing you.”
“Don’t believe in God. If there were a God, my boy would be here. You said that you’re sorry. That all you came here for? Where’s Fisher?”
I swipe at my cheek, hating that I cry so damn easily. “I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving town. For good. I wanted to do it in person. I don’t know. It felt wrong leaving Hell without a proper goodbye.”
He licks his lips as he stares me down. Snow begins to pelt the ground. Not as heavy as it did on the night we shared at the cabin.
“You should get going before the roads turn slick.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“What kind of fucking bullshit question is that?”
“I hate leaving things weird between us.”
“You’re Fisher’s woman. Crow’s daughter. Never should have crossed that line.”
“Fisher knows about us.”
“Noted.”
“I hope one day you find…”
“Happiness and peace.” He snorts. “Don’t worry about me.”
I nod. “Right. I’ll see you around or not.” I give him a pathetic wave and start toward my car when his hand wraps around my wrist.
“Hell, Freya,” he says my name as though it burns his tongue. Our gazes meet under the pale moonlight. Snow falls all around us as though Heaven is weeping frozen tears. The ravaged expression on his face will haunt me forever. Death pulls me in close as I peer at him through my lashes, wondering what he wants from me. I don’t have to wait long for an answer when his mouth descends on mine. He kisses me rough, without tongue. “Drive safe.”
“I will. Take care of yourself.”