“I cannot believe his arrogance talking to you like he did in the diner. You should have said something. We could have all kicked his ass.”
“He’s still in the air force, Luke, and has friends in high places.”
“Sorry you have to put up with that crap, Quinn.”
“There’s way more good in what I do than bad.”
“I can imagine there is.”
They fell silent, both drinking their hot chocolate. She felt his eyes on her, felt the awareness of having him here, alone, in her room. Sexy and dangerous Luke Trainer.
“I really should feel something.”
“Pardon?”
“I should feel something for her death,” he said slowly.
“Your mom?”
He nodded.
“There’s no law on not loving your mother, Luke.”
His eyes rose from his mug to her face. “I can’t seem to push it all back down. The rage, frustration, the pain. I thought I was done with it. I’ve controlled it for years, but this shit with Nixon has brought it all to the surface again.”
His hair stood on end from his fingers; the thick sweater was inside out. He looked sexy as hell, even with bruises on his face.
“I do that.”
“Suppress stuff?”
She nodded.
“I guess you have to be pretty unemotional about some things.”
“Some things, yes, but I’m not sure it’s healthy to push it all to one side,” Quinn said. “But it’s how I cope. I just shut everything down, and always have. It just made what I wanted to achieve easier if I took the emotion out.”
She’d never spoken to anyone like this before, but it felt right talking to Luke.
“You guys would have head people in the air force. People to talk to if things get messed up.”
“Yeah, they’re there.”
They sat in silence for a while.
“I don’t have a lot of friends who are girls. I missed all that stuff. The sleepovers and nights out on the town. I was shy and spent most of my time in my room reading.”
“So not a party girl then?”
“Tyler, whom he recruited the same time as me, is one of the few people I call friend. He says I use being socially awkward as a shield to hide behind. He calls me on it constantly.”
She wasn’t sure why she was telling Luke this stuff. Maybe because he was hurting, and maybe because in that moment she felt close to him.
“It’s probably hard for someone like you to understand,” she added when he simply sat there silently watching her.
“Someone like me?”
“Outgoing, popular.”