He narrowed his eyes. “You do?”
I nodded. “In my phone case.”
He sat back on his heels, leaving me half naked before him. He reached to where my phone had fallen out of my pocket on the bed and pulled my phone case back. A condom wrapper dropped out.
“What? When?” He was staring at it like it was alien to him.
Did that matter right now? I had one, and we could keep going.
“Gwyn and CeeCee said I shouldn’t rely on you guys to be prepared. That if I wanted to use one, I should have my own.”
His brows rose, and he nodded. “That makes sense.”
“Plus, I’m on birth control.”
He sputtered. “You are?”
“Yeah, my doctor recommended I go on because of the cysts. He said they’re less likely to rupture when I’m on the pill.” It had been months, but I didn’t tell the guys because, well, it hadn’t come up. It wasn’t the kind of thing you casually announced to the guys you were dating.
He ran his hands through his very messy hair. “Okay, well. That’s good to know.” He was back to overthinking. I knew he was filing away this information and making decisions and plans again.
“But you’re not ready?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, and I thought you weren’t either.”
It was weird having this conversation, or any really, while I was so exposed, but I didn’t feel the need to cover up. Not anymore. He’d already seen me and had me in his mouth, so what was the rush to get dressed? But now that we’d stopped and my head was clear, I realized he was right. I wasn’t ready to go all the way. This was a huge step in that direction, but it was more than enough.
“I’m not,” I admitted.
“Do you regret––”
“No.” I cut him off before he could even finish the thought. “No. Not a single moment.”
He grinned. “Good. Me either.”
His eyes dropped, and I giggled as his cheeks reddened. “Damn.”
I reached for my shirt, but he handed me his instead. “Stay?”
I pulled it over my head. “Okay.”
“Okay.” He got up and changed into sweats and tossed me a similar pair. I stood and slid off my jeans and tugged the soft pants on.
Once I was back on his bed, he turned off the lights and slipped in next to me. He pulled the blanket over us and rolled to his side, so I was cradled into him. He stroked my hair and kissed my shoulder.
“I love you.” I wasn’t sure if he meant for me to hear, but I looked back at him.
“I love you, Gavin.”
He smiled and closed his eyes. I sighed and relaxed into him. I waited for regret to creep in, but it never came. Nothing but joy and excitement and pure contentment. I loved being in his arms, especially after all I’d shared with him. I’d given him more of myself than anyone else, and falling asleep wrapped up in him was more perfect than anything I could have dreamed of.
* * *
“Gavin, you need to get moving!”Tessa’s voice pulled me from sleep, and I shot up, looking around.
“Shit, Gavin,” I shook him, and he slowly cracked open his eyes.
“What?”