Except it doesn’t feel like nothing. My heart pounds against my chest, and I only hope Iris remains unaware of the betraying organ. A sick feeling overtakes me as I consider my slipup. I stopped using words like that ages ago after my mom passed. There wasn’t a point anymore when the only person who understood me that way died, leaving me behind with an empty heart and a brain filled with useless words.
Yet here you are, using them to describeher.
Fuck.
I run my fingers through my hair, giving my hands something to do besides touching Iris. Nothing good seems to come from that.
Iris’s arms tighten around me, beckoning me to look down at her. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course.” I fight the urge to disentangle myself from her hug. She is growing far too comfortable with them for my taste.
“Great because your father is headed this way and the smile on his face is downright malicious.” Iris steps out of our embrace, only for me to tuck her against my side. My hand plants itself against her hip like it belongs there.
My father steps into our vicinity. “Just the couple I was looking for.”
Iris mutters something under her breath before plastering on her fakest smile. “Mr. Kane. How nice of you to make it tonight.”
I huff at her polite display. Both of us had hoped my father would decline to attend, but leave it to him to make it at the last minute.
His right eye narrows despite the easygoing smile on his face. “Please call me Seth. We are practically family now.”
“You wouldn’t know the meaning of the word,” I quip.
“Paying for a family doesn’t make you an expert on the matter by any means.”
“Neither does being an absentee alcoholic who hates his kids.”
Iris sucks in a breath.
My father’s face turns molten red, and the flush spreads from his cheeks to his neck. “You dare to talk to me that way?”
“Seeing as I just did, yes.”
His grin is forced, never reaching his emotionless eyes. “I’m making an effort to be polite and supportive.”
“For the public.”
“Appearances are everything.”
My teeth grind together. I learned that lesson far too many times over the years after my mom died. Because while our house was nothing but chaos in private, to the rest of the world we were the ultimate American family. My private school teachers never questioned the random black eyes or bruises on my skin. They were easily bought like everyone else, feeding into the vicious cycle of my childhood. The one I did everything in my power to protect Cal and Rowan from, even if it meant taking my father on by myself.
“Thank you for coming. I wish we could stay longer and chat, but I want to introduce Declan to my cousin before she leaves.”
Iris tugs on the sleeve of my suit, and I follow her without bothering to look back at my father. I’m too lost in my thoughts to notice much else.
It’s not until Iris pushes me into a cramped room and flips the light switch that I notice the noise around us is turned down to a manageable level.
I check out our surroundings. “A supply closet?”
She laughs. “I’m sorry. It was the first unlocked door I could find.”
“Why are we hiding?”
“Because you looked about two seconds away from blowing up on your father. I thought you might like the idea of getting away from everyone for a few minutes.”
Iris always has a superpower of knowing what I need exactly when I need it. She truly is invaluable at her job.
“Thank you.” I lean against a shelf of cleaning supplies.