I sigh. “I can’t hide out here forever.”
“You can do whatever you want. Declan isn’t your keeper.”
“I know but I need to be mature about this.”
“Oh, like he’s one to talk about maturity right now.”
“We’re married. One fight isn’t going to change that.”
He lets out a deep exhale. “No, but it might change the way you approach your marriage.”
“I know.” I twist my hands on my lap.
He drops onto the couch next to me. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“Is it? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel okay. He didn’t even come after me after everything he said. He just let me walk away like I didn’t mean anything to him, all because a deal is more important than me.” A loan tear slides down my face before landing on my lap.
“He fucked up. There’s no easy way to put it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Youdon’t need to do anything. He’s the one who messed up, not the other way around. I know you’re used to always picking up after his messes, but sometimes you can’t fix everything for him.”
My throat bobs. “What if he doesn’t fix it?”
“Then he was never worthy of you in the first place.”
42
DECLAN
My father and I continue to compete for Mr. Yakura’s attention. Rather than go with Iris’s advice, I choose to fight back harder, proving I’m the best candidate to bring Dreamland Tokyo to life. My father meets my every stride. He makes promises I’m not even sure he can uphold, although he appears mighty confident in the manner. I can tell it’s getting messy. Mr. and Mrs. Yakura try to keep their smiles wide and their eyes bright, but I can only imagine how exhausting all this is.
Iris warned me to end it, but I didn’t listen.
No. I trampled all over her instead because I was too pissed to think clearly. After working so damn hard to earn her trust, I threw it away at the first sign of adversity. There is no one to blame but me. Not my anger. Not my father. And definitely not Iris, although I’m sure I made her feel that way.
A dark cloud of emotion follows me through the rest of our walkthrough. I can’t shake the feeling that I made a huge mistake by continuing on with the rest of my day despite Iris’s advice. The more time that passes, the less I’m sure my choice to stay was the right one. My doubt has nothing to do with my father stealing Mr. Yakura’s time, but more so to do with the idea of me hurting Iris and letting her walk away. The urge is stronger than ever to leave them all behind so I can go find Iris.
I can’t stop thinking of the things I told her when I was angry. It was one thing to call her a distraction, but it’s a completely different issue to doubt her ability to do her job. I know she is capable of everything and more, yet I tore her down like she was worth nothing. I’m not proud of the way I told her how the plan she made was shitty. But nothing feels worse than telling her she failed. I chose my words out of anger without truly thinking of the impact they could have.
It’s not until we make our way back to the entrance of the park that Mr. Yakura pulls me aside. My father’s eyes track us even as we step out of earshot.
“Declan. Is everything okay?” He looks up at me with a big smile as bright as his ridiculous neon shirt.
“I’m fine.”
“I couldn’t help noticing how you’ve been much quieter since Iris left. While I appreciate you spending the day with us, we would rather you be with your wife if she isn’t feeling well.”
If you even have a wife to go back to.
“She wanted me to see this through.” At least I think so.
His smile falters. “I expected as much. She was rather persuasive on the phone when she was setting up this entire trip for us. I almost felt bad for inviting your father along, knowing the two of you aren’t on the best of terms.”
Wait, what?“Repeat that.”
“I was the one who invited your father to join us here. Why else did you think he would show up?”