Oz
The words were out of my mouth before I could blink. I had the chance to do some good and I was going to take it.
I’d fucked the rebellion up enough. I put this thing in my head. Used it selfishly. Now it would be used for the good of others.
And this way I would see my death coming. I wouldn’t have to wait for a month or two in fear that every day could very well be my last. This gave me the opportunity say my goodbyes. To put my things in order and go out the way I wanted to.
Viper grabbed for my shoulders, his fingers digging into my arms, desperation on his face. “Don’t do this! I’ll hack into their systems! I’ll fight if I have to! Please,” he begged. “Don’t!”
“V, I don’t want you to watch me fade away or try to wake me up one morning and find I’m gone. You don’t need those memories. You have enough bad shit in your head. I won’t add more.”
“Why wouldn’t you wake up? Dax fixed the damage!” Poe’s eyes darted from me to Viper then to Dax. She didn’t understand. I hadn’t had the chance to tell her the truth.
Pulling out of Viper’s grasp, I faced my best friend. The one who would put up with me vanishing for weeks at a time to work on stuff for my less than savory clientele only to come back and crash on her couch.
She never asked me where I went or what I did. She had to have known I wasn’t out doing something respectable. But it hadn’t mattered. Poe loved me unconditionally. She had been the first one in my life to do so. Even when I was too blind or stubborn to see it.
I brushed the tears off her cheeks. “I’m dying, Poe. The repair Dax made is failing.” Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping as she struggled to accept what I was telling her. I do the only thing I can think of.
Pulling her into my arms, I hug her to me. “It’s true. God, I wish it weren’t. I wanted to make the rebellion my home and spend forever with my best friend, the cyborgs you love, and the male that has my heart, but it’s not meant to be.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I held on to her a bit tighter. “I love you, Poe. You have always been my lighthouse in the storm. The safe place to rest my head when the rest of the world felt terrifying. I should have let you in. I should have been a better friend. I’m so sorry.” I choke on my words, unable to catch my breath.
I capture her face with my hands. I had nothing left to hide. Tears ran down her cheeks in rivets, her lips trembling. “I won’t ask you not to miss me, but don’t grieve so long you miss out on the life you created here. Don’t let losing me hold you back from all the wonderful things that will come your way. You found a home, an incredible group of friends, and a male who loves you with everything he has. Lean on Dax when I have to say goodbye.”
“But I want you with me! I want you there if I have a bad day. I want to run to your quarters, eat ice cream, and cry on your couch. I want to hear you promise me that you will bring vengeance down on the heads of anybody that might have hurt me, even if that person is Dax.”
She sucked in a big, shuddering breath then twisted in my arms so she could find Dax. Even though I couldn’t see them, I had no doubt her eyes were pleading with him to do something…to fix me.
Her next words confirmed my suspicions. “There has to be a way. I can’t lose her, Dax! I can’t!”
I spun her back towards me. “Everything will be okay. You are strong and brave and have the kindest heart I have ever fucking seen. I want to be like you, Poe. I want to do something good and save others like you saved me. Those cyborgs need us. I’m not turning my back on them. Death is coming for me either way. Please let it be on my terms.”
More tears fell but at last she nodded. Then she wrapped her arms around me, clinging to me like a koala, soaking up every bit of love and friendship she could.
The hug ended and Dax wrapped her up in his arms, telling me to meet him in the lab in an hour. I nodded, watching as they walked down the hall. As soon as they turned the corner, Viper and I would be all alone.
Squaring my shoulders, I faced the cyborg who had worked his way into my life and my heart.Fight me. Drag me to your quarters and tell me you aren’t letting me go.
I wanted his rage. That I could handle, anything else and I might break.
“You promised,” he rasped, his voice raw. “You said you’d stay with me. I told Reaper I wouldn’t fight because I wanted to remain by your side until the end. We had time, Oz. Not much, but more than we will get if you follow through with this! Why would you choose to leave me?”
His frame crumbled, landing in a heap on the floor and I fractured, splitting apart. I longed to take it all back. To climb into his lap and tell him I wouldn’t follow through with it.
My very soul felt like it was being torn in two; the part of me that needed to do this and the part that couldn’t bring myself to hurt my cyborg.
I collapsed next to him. My hands reached out, but I hesitated to touch him. His eyes zeroed in on my hands and I scooted closer until my fingers grazed his cheeks. “Touch me,” he pleaded. “Oz, I need you to touch-”
I don’t let him finish. Instead, I cup his cheeks, crawling into his lap to fuse my lips to his. I drag his breath into my lungs, offering him my own, mingling our air.
My head swam, my fingers leaving his face to ghost along his jaw and down his neck, stopping to feel the frantic pulse beating beneath his skin. Much too fast, it thudded like a drum, desperate and seeking, asking me for what I couldn’t give.
Wanting me to promise I wouldn’t go through with Dax’s plan. Breaking the kiss, I press my forehead against his, hoping to calm my racing heartbeat. “I have to do this, Viper. Something is telling me that without my implant, things are going to go horribly wrong for the rebellion. I can’t shake it.” But it was more than that. The grim reaper had always been hot on my heels, chasing me through life like a specter I couldn’t outrun.
My birth and the death of my mother had tied us together. I had slipped through his fingers that day and so many days since, I had even shocked myself. My life was destined to be a tragedy, not a happily ever after.
But I could do this my way. Own my fate and do some fucking good on the way out. “I am not choosing to leave you, V. If I could, I’d spend forever by your side. But even if we can’t change the cards we are dealt, we can play them our way. And the Global Allegiance doesn’t get to abuse and hurt anymore cyborgs on my watch. I am not hiding while my family is out there fighting.” Because that’s what the rebellion was. My family. The one I never thought I would have or ever want.