“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m so much older than you, and I’ve loved the same man for over twenty years. I found him because of my work and my desire to take care of my mother and sister. I often think of what would have happened to me if I’d not been brave enough to get on that train for Colorado. Everything good came from that one decision. There are times, darling, in our lives that are crossroads, tests maybe, that we must pass through to get to the other side.”
“I don’t like this test. It’s an impossible one.”
“You’re stronger than you think.” She gathered me in for another embrace, and I let myself be loved, taking in the flowery scent of her fragrance. The smell and feel of my mother’s hugs would always be among my favorite things. This would never change. I could count on loving her and having that love returned. It was something to cling to in the darkness of this hour, and I did so with all my might.
* * *
That night,I could not sleep and tossed and turned until finally deciding to get up and go down to the sitting room. I put a robe on over my dressing gown and ventured downstairs, careful to walk lightly on the stairs that creaked. The hardwood floors felt cold on my bare feet. I should have grabbed socks, I thought as I walked into the sitting room.
This time of night, I didn’t like to use my typewriter in my room, as the clang of the keys might wake someone. However, if the mood struck me, I could use Papa’s typewriter, so I’d brought my stack of manuscript pages with James’s notes down with me.
I’d have loved a cup of tea but didn’t want to traipse down the stairs and wake Mrs. Wu or the maids, who all slept in staff quarters down the hall from the kitchen. Mrs. Wu, Li’s grandmother, had worked with Lizzie in our kitchen for as long as I’d been alive. She’d tried to retire six years ago and move in with Li, but she hated being away from her room here and the work. No one knew exactly how old she was, but we guessed close to eighty. From what we could tell, she didn’t have plans to slow down anytime soon. She was a tiny woman, growing tinier by the day as the years took their toll. Regardless, her mind was as quick as ever. She claimed it was the concoction of herbs she used for her magical teas that kept her young. Whatever it was, Lizzie was glad to have her, especially now that Florence was away at college.
I turned on a few lamps in the sitting room. It was too warm for a fire and the room felt stuffy, so I opened a few windows, careful to make sure the screens were in place. I’d catch it from Jasper in the morning if he found flies or bugs in the sitting room. He and Lizzie had their own cottage not far from the big house, but he felt a great responsibility to keep the estate pristine. He was old-school, Papa said. “You must remember where he’s from and what he was trained to do,” he’d said to Delphia recently when she was complaining about Jasper being too strict and old-fashioned.
I sat in the chair behind the desk where Mama wrote her correspondence and anything else she needed to take care of in her positions on the boards of both the library and the school. In the lamplight, I read through the notes on chapter 5, written in the margins in James’s neat handwriting.
More here.
Tighten this paragraph. Saying the same thing twice.
This brought tears to my eyes.
Can you describe this in a deeper POV?
I traced my finger along the handwriting, thinking of his long, slender fingers. Lucky paper, I thought.
After a few minutes of staring out the window to the moonlit front yard, I stuck a piece of paper into the typewriter and began a rewrite. I’d been working for thirty minutes or so when I heard the front door open from the foyer. I looked up to see James standing in the double doorway of the sitting room.
“What are you doing up?” I asked, standing. Was he all right? He seemed slightly unsteady on his feet.
“I’ve come from the club with your brother and brothers-in-law. Poker and booze.” He grinned and reached into his pocket to pull out a wad of bills. “I cleaned up tonight.”
I frowned. Gambling wasn’t my favorite pastime for my brothers and brothers-in-law. They usually kept it among them, playing once a month on a night when the club was closed to the public. “Who was there?”
“Li, Flynn, Viktor, and Phillip. No Theo.”
Of course. Theo would never be out this late or drinking. He and Dr. Neal took turns being on call.
“What was the occasion?” I asked. I’d not been down to dinner so had not been privy to their plans.
“Welcoming me back.”
“Did you have a nice time?” I asked, stiffly.
“Aw, don’t be like that. We were just having some innocent fun.”
“If one would describe drinking and gambling such,” I said, biting my lip to keep from smiling.
His brow furrowed. He walked toward me. “Is your headache better?”
“Yes, but I couldn’t sleep. I came down here to work on chapter 5.”
“Is that the one where Flynn and Cym get locked in the icehouse?”
I nodded, smiling. “Yes, that’s the one.”