BLUE 1
It doesn’t even feel like I’ve been away from home for only a week. I miss the quiet from home and the constant ribbing from the others, but I don’t miss the complications that were growing around the club. The serial killer on the loose was messing with my head. That fucker wanted to incriminate us and had everyone on edge. I know that I should maybe be there, that I should be trying to help the others find who the sick fuck is, but I know myself, and I would probably do something stupid and land up in jail.
“You always rock the house; the fans are going crazy,” Jim says as I walk off the stage with adrenaline still pumping through my veins. “I don’t know how you do it, but I’m glad you decided to come back before you were scheduled.” Jim, who is my agent, gets frustrated with me when I tell him that I’m going home. It means I might not be coming back for a while, and usually I’m away for quite some time, but this time I needed to get away from home. It’s not that I don’t want to be home, home is the most important part of me, but the situation there was driving me crazy.
King, the Wolverine MC president and my alpha, was not happy when I told him I was leaving. None of my brothers were, but they did not try to stop me because they know this is how I keep sane. I have always been someone that doesn’t like complications, and at the moment, things are way too complicated back home. This whole situation with the serial killer is doing my head in.
Each day that goes by, I lose more and more faith in people. I look around and all I see is greed and lies. The only people I trust on this earth are my brothers. I know that they will always have my back, and that they don’t want anything from me.
“Darling, I felt like you were singing just for me.”
I look at the woman approaching me with her arms wide open, her perfume already intoxicating my nostrils even before she touches me.
Fuck, I really need to stop sleeping with every fucking groupie that takes my eye. “Yeah, well I wasn’t,” I mutter as she throws her arms around my neck, her lips kissing my cheek as I turn my head. “Jim, make yourself useful,” I state.
I don’t even know her name, but I know her type too well. There have been way too many of her in my past, and it’s something I should stop because it brings me nothing but misery. I know that she will swear and scream, but the first chance she gets, she will try to catch one of my other band members' attention.
“Come on, Darling, Blue needs to rest,” Jim says as he places his arm around her shoulders, pulling her away.
“I can help you rest, can’t I, Blue?” she suggests with a wink.
“Go with Jim. He will get you whatever you need, but I’m afraid we’re just not meant to be,” I say as I step around them to make my way to the room that has been set up for the band.
“But, Blue, it was so good, how...” I open the door to our resting room, drowning out her words, closing it behind me. I close my eyes. I hate meaningless sex. Usually music will drown out this constant emptiness that drives me—the constant darkness that wants to overtake my life. Usually it does, but not this time.
“You okay?” Opening my eyes, I see the other three members of my band looking at me.
“Yeah.” I know that they’re not too pleased with the fact that they’re here instead of at home like we had planned. I feel bad that they cut their holiday short, but I make them a lot of money, and even though that doesn’t make up for the time they are losing with their families, it’s one way of me calming my conscious.
“Are you sure? You seemed off today,” Joel asks. Joel is my guitarist and a damn good one at that. We all have been together from the moment I started singing, which is now going on eight years. We’re close, but not close enough for them to know the truth about me. They only know what I want them to know, and that’s not much.
They have never been to my club, met my pack, or my family. I know that it’s because even though I have known them for years, and have worked, slept, and laughed next to these men, I still don’t trust them enough to share anything about my life with them.
“Jim seems to think differently,” I say as I walk towards the table with snacks and pick up a bottle of water before taking a seat on the couch next to Jake.
“Jim’s a wanker. He wouldn’t know the difference if it hit him in the face,” Jake mutters as he leans his head back, closing his eyes. “He’s good at PR, but he knows fucking nothing when it comes to understanding people.”
A person would think that it’s usually the other way around, that our PR manager would understand people, but Jake is right, Jim doesn’t care about anything but making money. I glance at Jake and see the dark circles under his eyes, proof of his tiredness.
“I’m sorry, guys.” My apology has Jake turning his head toward me and opening his eyes a crack in question. “I know that you being here sucks, and that you would rather be home.”
“Yeah, Trina isn’t your biggest fan at the moment,” Kevin says from where he’s sitting next to Joel. Kevin is our drummer and an all-around nice guy. His wife Trina has given me a piece of her mind more than once, and I’m sure next time she sees me she will let me know exactly what she thinks of me, which I don’t mind at all because she’s straight forward and doesn’t hide behind lies and subterfuge.
“You know what you need?” Joel asks as he sits forward on the couch. “You need a good woman in your life.”
I think back to my brothers back home, to the ones that have found their mates and how happy they seem. I would give my left nut to find my mate, but sometimes we can go through life without meeting that one woman that completes us. The woman who will give meaning to the constant monotony that life can become.
“They’re not exactly standing in line,” I mutter as I take a swig of my water.
“Maybe because you’re always going for the groupies that just want a good time, or want to be seen with you,” Jake says with a shrug just as the door opens and Jim walks in. His boisterous red and black shirt compliments his loud personality.
“Well, you did it again. The fans are still rocking with excitement,” he says as he closes the door behind him, completely oblivious to the mood inside the room. “The last song you guys played was perfect, simply perfect. No one was expecting you to play a new song just as you finish.”
“Glad you’re happy,” Jake says with a sarcastic tone that is completely wasted on Jim, I’m sure he didn’t even hear it.
“It’s still not over. You’re still not finished for the night. I have the winner of the Dreamcatcher Competition waiting to meet you guys. The media will have their eyes on every move you make, so make sure you all behave and smile like you mean it.”
“Oh fuck,” Joel grunts. “Can’t Blue do it alone? They’re here to see him after all.”