13
Startled at the abruptness of Alva’s question, Bernard pursed his lips and stared at the Japanese Embassy. He didn’t want to think about the answer or how it made him feel. The thought of losing his precious family all over again filled him with the familiar emptiness he had carried since the day he learned what happened at Pearl Harbor.
No, he didn’t want to think about it, but he could not place his own wants over the lives of so many. Not this time. How could he have committed such a devious and selfish act in the first place? Freyja was relying on him to put things back to how they should have been. If necessary, he would give up his own life to make things right and save the lives of millions of innocent people.
“Bernard?”
Alva’s fingers gripped his upper arm. Turning his head, he stared down into her worried gaze. “The only answer I can give you is ‘I’m sorry.’ I wasn’t in my right mind when I changed history. I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“We will fix everything once we figure outhow to bring down this barrier. I’m more concerned about you because the only person you really hurt was yourself.”
He gave her a quick scowl. “Excuse me?”
“Other than a few people, no one will know it ever happened, so the only one suffering throughout all of this is you. I’ve worried about you for a while. You never let yourself grieve after your wife and kids died, instead throwing yourself into the war effort and never looking back. I’m concerned that, if you don’t accept their deaths, you’ll never be able to move forward.”
Once again, he stared at the embassy and willed the barrier to disappear. “How am I supposed to do that? There’s nothing for me now or in the future.” Alva’s hand disappeared from his arm, and he immediately missed its warmth. Over the last year of the war, he had gotten used to her quiet presence. He was surprised to admit it, but knowing she was by his side soothed his inner demons.
“Truthfully, Alva, I’m worried about me too. There were so many unanswered questions throughout my life, and Savannah, then Bishop and Brianna, gave me the foundation I needed. I lost my parents when I was so young, I barely remember their faces. My guardians raised me, and I fear what may have happened to them during the war.”
“What do you recall about your parents?” Alva asked, edging a step behind him.
“My father told the most amazing bedtime stories about elves, dwarves, and magic. After he died, I used to pretend I was a powerful wizard who could bring them back. It’s all I’ve ever wanted—to discover where I came from. To see them again.” When she didn’t answer, he turned to find her staring off into the distance, her face pale.
“Alva, what’s wrong?” He pulled his gaze from her face and scanned the horizon but couldn’t figure out what upset her. Pressing his hand against the small of her back, he felt the rough texture of the bark through her shirt. Strangely, though, it didn’t bother him. She jerked away and nervously rubbed her hands up and down over her pants. “Sorry, but you weren’t answering.”
With a quick glance over her shoulder, she grabbed his arm and pulled him down the street. He quickened his steps, wondering where they were going and why, but decided to play along until she calmed down. After a brisk walk down Massachusetts Avenue, Dupont Circle came into view. The skeletal trees and bare bushes in its center somehow seemed a fitting design against the surrounding buildings, standing side by side like a bleak line of sentries.
They hurried across the transit tracks and the wide sidewalk, then into the trees before Alva’s steps slowed. She stopped just before reaching the small park. Her hand still gripped his forearm, and with a surprised glance, she pulled away and rubbed her palm, as if touching him had somehow caused her pain.
“I’m sorry. I realize this isn’t much cover, but it’s the only thing close I could find. Something is so very wrong here. I had the strangest feeling where we were, as if we were being watched.”
Bernard studied her face. Her color was returning, but he was still worried about her. “I didn’t sense anything odd…just my own annoyance bordering on anger because I couldn’t break through the barrier. To fix things, I have to get into the Japanese Embassy and talk to Ambassador Nomura or even Special Envoy Kurusu.”
Alva’s lips twisted to one side and her right eye narrowed. He knew that expression well. Her brilliant brain was running at a high rate of speed as she thought about and dismissed one scenario after another. He’d seen her do this time and again during the war, when a battle had gone wrong. It was truly amazing to watch and, truth be told, he was a bit jealous of her ability. Oh, he was a good tactician as well, but she often thought of things he didn’t, so together, they made a good team.
He grinned as she glanced up, her eyes narrowing. “Why are you smiling like that? It’s creepy.”
A bark of laughter burst from him. Surprised, he clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, I can’t remember the last time I really felt like laughing. It’s just that you get this certain expression when you’re thinking, and, um...”
She looked adorable, with her pretty face scrunched in displeasure and her arms crossed over her generous chest. The toe of her left foot tapped a quick rhythm against the cement. “Are you finished?”
“Yes.” Swallowing another chuckle that threatened to surface, he coughed, nodded, and cleared his throat. “Did you come up with an idea?”
“No thanks to you, but yes, I think I did. I want you to take us to Alfheimr and talk to the twins. One or both may have run across this situation before. When you live thousands of years, you experience most everything.”
His brows popped up. “Thousands? Seriously, they’re that old?”
“Probably older. While Ailuin is knowledgeable about many things, his twin brother is even more so. Lamruil was always the studious one. Ailuin focused on his music and having fun. Until he fell in love with Raisa. She’s the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“I agree. Before you spook yourself more, let’s get moving,” he said and held out his hand, palm-side up. He noticed her hesitancy before laying her hand on his. Wrapping his fingers around hers, he closed his eyes and visualized the fountain in front of the magnificent structure that recently became the brothers’ shared seat of power in Alfheimr, as well as their home.
A rush of cold air hit him in the face, taking his breath away, then changed to a warm breeze as a hard surface solidified under the soles of his boots. Letting the cool spray of water wash away the frustration swamping him back on Midgard, he opened his eyes and exhaled.
“You seem to like it here,” Alva said, squinting up at him in the bright midday sunlight. “I can actually feel you relax.” Her gaze narrowed. “Interesting.”
He shrugged. “I do love it here. Alfheimr is beautiful and filled with promise. Everything is peaceful now, but once the twins’ changes become known, it’s liable to create a new civil war.”
She leaned toward the fountain, hand extended, and let the multicolored water pour over her palm and through her splayed fingers. Alva turned her hand over, then reached for the higher water and smiled. “I love the colors. I would never have thought two men, much less black elves, would choose pinks, purples, and yellow. The green, blue, and orange I understand. They’re more masculine, but the others...?” She shrugged. “It’s unusual.”