Alva rested her hand on the tabletop, palm-side up, and waited. Her steady gaze held his until he slowly lifted one hand from his lap and laid it on top of hers. The moment her fingers threaded through his, a little more of his pain disappeared. This time, though, strength flooded into his tired body, and he gently squeezed her hand, hoping she knew that gratitude was the only emotion he was capable of at the moment. While his heart filled with appreciation for her friendship, he couldn’t verbalize it. The moment he did, what he had to do next would become inevitably real.
“I know this is difficult, Bernard, but I need to know what events you changed,” Freyja said and laid her hand over theirs. Another burst of healing strength hit him full force, and for the first time in months, the depression that had held him hostage faded just enough for him to think about his family without overwhelming agony breaking his heart.
“I don’t deserve to be healed, my lady, but I am so grateful for your gift.”
“You are not the only person who has endured immense heartache, my child, and you will not be the last. Had I known the extent of your distress, I would have eased your suffering sooner, and for that, I am sorry. I should have paid closer attention.”
“It isn’t your fault. I’m so used to keeping to myself and not talking about my emotions. I can remember my guardians imposing upon me to never tell anyone anything personal.”
Suspicion filled her gaze. “That’s a bit strange, don’t you think? What do you recall about your parents?”
Reluctantly, he pulled back his hand from Alva’s grip and clasped his fingers in front of him. “I’m sorry, but they died so long ago, my memories of them are vague.” He thought back to the last time he had seen them. “I’m a good blending of my parents. I have my father’s coloring and height but my mother’s eyes and nose, according to Kulirra.”
A startled expression flitted across Freyja’s face. “Kulirra?”
He nodded. “Kulirra and her husband, Lukan, were my guardians.”
“What is their last name?”
“Hillhead. I haven’t seen them in quite a while. A year after I joined MI6, I went home on leave and found the house deserted, their belongings gone. I hope they didn’t get caught up in the war. They were...well, a bit different, and the Nazi ideology would have guaranteed them a trip to the nearest death camp, I’m afraid.” Freyja’s unblinking stare was unnerving, and so intense, he felt as if she saw into his soul. “Why do you want to know about them?”
“No reason in particular. We haven’t talked much, and I aim to rectify that, starting now. Where did you grow up?”
“Our home, which was a small castle or country house, really, was near Maubeuge, France, south of Mons, Belgium. From what Lukan said, the home had been in my mother’s family for centuries.”
“What was your mother’s maiden name?” Freyja asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but Bernard had taken part in too many interrogations, and his suspicion grew.
“Truthfully, I don’t know that I ever heard her maiden name. Her first name was Jessica and my father’s name was Olivier.” The moment the name left his lips, a spark of recognition appeared and just as quickly disappeared deep in Freyja’s eyes and waited for her to say something.
“You never explained what you changed in the war,” Alva interrupted, frowning at him, then Freyja. “We don’t have time to waste, and we can catch up on forgotten history afterward. This needs to be taken care of now.”
“So true, my dear,” Freyja acknowledged. “Bernard?”
“I took advantage of miscommunication and timing, if you will. So many things in the decade before the war, as well as during, could have been avoided if people had paid attention to details or done their jobs. The first thing I did was decode the Japanese missive from September 24, 1941. Then I told the two soldiers in charge who to send it to for maximum benefit in warning the island and, ultimately, Commander Kimmel. After that, I transportedto Washington D.C. and helped the Japanese ambassador decode the fourteen-part message to the Secretary of State and the President. Convincing Secretary Hull was the key to getting things moving to stop the Hawaiian attack.”
Uncharacteristically, the goddess chewed on her bottom lip with a frown as she stared through the window. Throwing Alva a quick glance, he caught her worried gaze as well. She shrugged and shook her head, then turned toward Freyja. Finally, after a moment passed, the goddess turned to face him once more.
“Trying to think through all the risks involved has given me a massive headache, but all scenarios lead back to one task. You must reverse what you did in order to get the war back on track and the Nine Worlds safe from Ragnarok. It will be very tricky, though. You will need to return to both times while avoiding the other you. Seeing yourself would be disastrous.”
“If I go with him this time, I could act as a lookout and keep them from stumbling upon each other,” Alva added, her fingers twisting and twirling the loose hair at the bottom of her thick braid.
It was a habit she had when nervous or worried about something. He recognized the movements the first time they had gone on a mission together. Alva was a good spy and loyal to Freyja and their cause, so he had never quite figured out why she seemed so anxious. She also had a nervous habit of tugging on her shirts or fidgeting with her clothing. She was definitely nervous about something, but he had no clue as to what it might be.
“That’s an excellent idea, Alva.” Freyja turned her sharp gaze on him. Now it was his turn to fidget. If a gaze could cut, hers would have lacerated him several times over. “You will follow Alva’s instructions, no matter what. You will return to Pearl Harbor and undo the chaos and devastation you wrought by your unthinking deed. Failure is not an option, Bernard. I gifted you with a second chance at life—a blessed and magical life. By repairing the damage, you will redeem yourself. If you fail, my gift will be revoked and you will die.”
“Freyja, no!” Alva covered her mouth with her hand as she stared in horror at the goddess. “Please don’t do this,” she pleaded, her voice barely discernible behind the palm of her hand.
Freyja sadly gazed at her assistant. “It is not of my doing, sweet one. At least, not completely. Those are the rules of the gift. It is just as much Idunn’s magic as mine. When the soul accepts our immortal gift of life, there are regulations that must be followed. If they are broken, the soul is forfeit and the person must continue his or her journey to Helheimr. You can ask the goddess Hel, if you don’t believe me.”
Alva’s beautiful eyes closed, and she dropped her hand back to her lap, but Bernard noticed the slight trembling of her chin. He was both honored and flattered she would champion him. “Alva, look at me, please?” He waited for her eyes to reopen. When they did, and he saw the turmoil in their blue-green depths, his stomach churned and knotted, but he ignored the sensation, unwilling to think about why her distress upset him so much.
“I did this, and I must make amends. I should have talked to someone—Mikhail, Natalya, or you, but I didn’t. For that, I am sorry. So much could have been avoided. I betrayed my own moral code by reversing the past. My actions made me no better than Hitler, and my selfishness has caused the suffering and murders of many more millions than during the actual war. I vow to the two of you, here and now, I will reverse my actions and set history right, even if it is the last thing I do.”
He willed this amazing woman to understand and to forgive him for what he was about to do. Holding her mesmerizing gaze, he pictured the group of trees and bushes where he had hidden on Pearl Harbor. The date, September 24, 1941. Alva’s large eyes grew, the sea-green color filling his entire vision as he sped back through time.
Freyja stared at the empty chair where Bernard had just been and shook her head. “I don’t understand how he is able to travel like that. I know of only a few people who can without using the Bifröst or seidr-magic like mine.”
“Why did you question him about his family?” Alva asked, her curiosity growing.