“Well then it’s time you did.”
We sit on the bench together, he stretches his long legs out and proudly looks around his beautiful new yard.
“It’s seriously amazing, Tor. So much better than just all that boring grass you had before. And the fence is a good idea.”
“Yeah I was afraid the dog would wander off and get lost again,” he stares around the yard some more. “I really like it. It feels more like home now, ya know? I should have done this years ago.”
“I think so, too. I love everything you did. This is what I want when I get my own house someday. I could sit back here all day.”
We share a smile and my heart dances. I’ve missed him and our talks, and now as my eyes discreetly take in his muscular jean-clad legs, flashbacks of my dream make my heart beat even faster. I wonder if he’s thought about me differently at all, like I’ve been thinking about him.
“How have you been feeling?” He asks.
“Huh?”
“You were sick. And had four teeth ripped out of your head. Your dad said you were in a lot of pain.”
“Oh. Yeah, it hurt a lot afterwards. My face got all swollen and I looked like a chipmunk.”
He laughs. “Aww…I’m sure you looked adorable.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I was all bruised, too.”
“It’s better now, though, right?”
Yes. It’s much better because you just pretty much called me adorable.
“Yeah. I can open my mouth all the way now.” I demonstrate by opening my mouth wide and snapping it closed several times.
“Please don’t do that,” he sits forward and leans his elbows on his knees.
“Okay…” Hmm. Is it possible he has been thinking about me?
He clears his throat and points over to the fountain. “Did you see that? I left a surprise there for you.”
I follow his finger to a small glass painted mason jar on the edge of the pond that’s filled with pennies.
“Hey,” I say excitedly. “Is that for our wishes?”
“Of course. I don’t sit here and make wishes alone.”
I jump up and run over to grab the bottle. “Can we throw pennies in the pond? Or will it hurt the fish?”
“We can. I washed them all first to make sure there was nothin’ on them.”
“You’re awesome.” I shake out two pennies, put the jar back, and join him on the bench again, handing him one of the copper coins.
“You go first,” he says. “You’ve been sick.”
I laugh at him. “It was just a cold.”
“You called it the worst friggin’ cold ever.”
“It felt pretty bad at the time.”
“They always do.”
I hang onto my penny for a second and then toss it in the water, making sure it doesn’t bonk one of the fish in the head. We’re quiet for a few minutes as I think about my wish and how best to word it. I knew what I was going to wish for long before I threw my penny in, but now I’m not sure I have the courage to say it out loud.
“So?” He urges. “What did you wish for this time? It should be a big one, you just graduated high school and have a whole new slate in front of you.”
I take a deep breath and watch the koi circle slowly over my penny as if they know what’s about to happen.
“I wish you’d kiss me again.” I say softly, grateful for the breeze blowing my hair across my face at that exact moment, hopefully hiding the yearning that I’m sure is overly evident in my eyes.
He doesn’t look at me. In fact, he goes completely still and I’m not even sure he’s breathing, to be honest. My pulse quickens as I wait and a swirling warmth manifests in the pit of my stomach.
“I didn’t kiss you, Kenzi.” He finally says. I can’t see his eyes, because he’s still leaning on his knees with his chin resting on his hands, so I’m left staring at the back of his head.
“Yes, you did.” Does he think I imagined the most epic kiss of my life thus far?
“It was an accident.” Again, with the emotionless tone that’s totally foreign to me.
“Are you kidding?” I say, my voice rising slightly.
“No,” he says simply. “I’m not.”
No way. I’m not going to let him put himself into denial over this.
“How do you accidentally kiss someone, exactly?”
Now I can hear him breathing, and he lets out a deep sigh. “I don’t want to talk about this.” He moves to stand but I quickly grab his arm and pull him back down on the bench.
“Please don’t walk away.”
He turns his face up to the sky and takes another deep breath, shaking his head. “Fine, Kenzi. It never should have happened. It was a fucked up, spur-of-the moment thing because we were both all ramped up about saving the dog and we just kinda…collided.”