Stealing away her.
She swallows hard. “I think we all need some time apart. I need some time away from you and my father. And I think you need some time away from me and him, and him away from you and I.”
I knew this was coming.
“Kenzi…” I want to get on my knees and beg. Or propose. Anything to make her stay, because I know she’s leaving. I can’t stop her, and I may never get her back.
Her hands squeeze mine even tighter like she’s afraid to let go, and I don’t want her to. “I don’t want to lose you, Tor,” she says tearfully. “I love you so much and I still want everything we talked about. But I think we all need some time to really be apart and just think. I’m going to move in with Aunt Katherine for a while.”
A lone tear slides down her pink cheek as her eyes search mine frantically, the same green eyes that have looked to me for help, love, and guidance for eighteen years. The same eyes I fell in love with and want to be looking into for the rest of my life.
She promised me forever.
She made me believe I could have it.
I’ll never let her go…but I have to set her free.
Please come back to me, I beg silently.
Please always love me the most.
I force myself to nod and agree and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. “Maybe you’re right,” I cough into my hand, and swallow back the pain shredding my heart. How am I supposed to live without her now that I’ve had a glimpse of what life with her could be like? How am I supposed to come home to just Diogee and Kitten at the door without her standing there waiting to throw her arms around me? “I want you to have time to think, and really know what, and who, you want. I’ll be here,” I grab the back of her neck and pull her to my lips for a long, slow kiss, then lean my forehead against hers and stare into her eyes. “I’ll always be here.”
She chokes on her tears. “I love you so much,” she whispers. “I don’t want to hurt you. Or him.”
“You haven’t. And you won’t. We’ll work through this. We’ve all got a strong bond, Kenzi. It’ll pull us through. I know it will. We’re all going to get our happy ending. But maybe you’re right; we just need some space to get there.” I don’t need space to get anywhere. What I need is her in my life, planning our future, and for Asher to just accept the fact that we love each other and to stop driving a wedge between us.
“I hope so,” she replies, clinging to me even tighter. Don’t let go, I beg. Please don’t let go.
The sadness in her voice completely guts me and I want to take it all away. I’m torn again, between the little girl I loved and the woman I’m in love with. I’d fix everything for the little girl if I could, like I always have. But I have to let the woman fix herself and stand by her side as she does.
Her hands slide up to my shoulders, squeezing them tightly and urgently as she kisses me softly on the lips, her emotions pouring into each kiss. Silently, she undresses me and herself before carefully climbing up on top of me and making love to me, so slowly and full of passion that I feel like she’s soldering our souls together.
It doesn’t feel like goodbye.
It feels like a request.
It feels like a promise.
And that’s what I’ll hold onto until we’re together again.
36
Tor,
I miss you already. Give me a few days to settle and I will write more.
I promise.
Kiss the babies for me.
I love you the most,
Kenzi
Kenzi
Six months later
“How about a tiramisu tonight for dessert? The guests will love that. Last time you made it they couldn’t get enough of it.” Aunt Katherine asks cheerily over breakfast.
“That sounds great.” Tiramisu is my favorite. When I first moved in with Aunt Katherine, I enrolled in a local cooking class to keep myself busy. I’ve learned so much, especially that making desserts is my favorite. A few weeks ago I started baking large round sugar cookies with a white icing and then writing short inspirational quotes in colored icing on top. At first, it was really hard to write calligraphy but then I found some food pens and thin food paintbrushes. After a while I got the hang of it, and now they look really pretty and professional. The guests love them so much that my aunt is now letting me box them up for the guests to purchase and take home with them.
My dad has driven here to visit a few times, and it’s been nice. He’s calmer. Not as worried. He’s stopped looking at me like he’s waiting for me to spontaneously combust. We walk the grounds and Aunt Katherine makes us tea and we have a lot of long talks. Some turn into arguments of frustration, and others actually seem to lead us into what I like to think of as progress and hope for the future.