She nodded. “Stupid really.” She was breathy, her voice a wisp. “I have it all planned out, everything. I know where I’d put the field shelters, how I’d fix up the school, where I’d set up a proper jumping course. I know this place, I know the people. I’ve got a list of kids who want lessons, a list of kids who can’t afford it but want to help out anyway.” She met my eyes. “I wanted it so bad. Iwantit so bad.”
“What about other yards? You could rent somewhere else, no?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno. I guess. It’s all the unknown.” Her eyes welled up again. “This place just feels special to me. The place I had my first horse, the place Samson and I found our feet.” She pointed to a track at the far end of the parking area. “We hack through these woods all the time. I know every path, every hill, every turn. I love it here. I love everything about this place.”
I sighed, my hands on the steering wheel. “How much does he need? How much is he selling the land for?”
She laughed a sad little laugh. “Too much. I don’t even know, a couple of hundred grand. Too much to worry about.”
And I said it. I just fucking said it. “I could buy it.”
Silence. Then a laugh. More like a snort. “You what?”
“I’m serious,” I said. “I could buy it for you. A couple of hundred grand, I could do that. It could be an investment, the land wouldn’t lose its value. I have enough capital.”
Wide eyes stared at me. “Why would you buy it? You don’t even like horses.”
“No.” I turned to her. “I don’t like horses, but I’m here anyway. I don’t even like the outdoors, I don’t like mud, I don’t like the smell of animal shit, the thought of trekking through open fields really doesn’t turn me on. But I’m here. Because of you. Because I likeyou.”
“I like you, too,” she said. “But you can’t buy Jack’s land, that’s… that’s insane. I couldn’t pay you back. I have no idea when I could pay you back. Probably never.” I could see the thoughts piling up behind her eyes, her head shaking as sheworked through them.
“You wouldn’t need to. I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“Then why? Why would you?” She held up her hands. “And at the end of six months, what? What even happens? What if we call it quits and move on? What happens then, when you own my yard and you don’t want it anymore?”
“That wouldn’t happen.”
She raised her eyebrows. “How do you know? Anything could happen. And then you’d own a yard you never even wanted and I’d owe you everything.”
“Or you’d be happy, and I’d be happy, and Rick would be happy. We could be happy, Katie. How about that?”
She took a breath. “A couple of hundred grand for a few years, you said. The other week, in the car, what did you mean?”
I felt a shiver down my spine. “That doesn’t matter now. That has nothing to do with this.”
“It has everything to do with this,” she said. “You’re offering me a couple of hundred grand, just like that, you say it’s so I can be happy. Sowecan be happy. What does happy even look like to you, Carl? What do you want from me?”
I sighed, gripped the steering wheel. “It’s just an offer. You want the yard, I can buy it. That’s all.”
She shook her head. “People don’t just go around buying hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of gifts to behappy, Carl. In the car, you said a couple of years, you said it was an option. That’s what you wanted from me, that’s what you implied. Is that still what you want? Because if that’s on the table, if that’s really what this is about… a few years in exchange for the yard… I mean, I dunno… if that’s what it meant… maybe I could…”
I closed my eyes. “Don’t do this, Katie. It was a simple offer. This isn’t the right time for this.”
“For what?” I heard her shift in her seat. “What isn’t this the right time for?”
Six months, Carl. Just give it time, man. Chill the fuckout.
Katie’s breath was loud. “I mean, if you want me to guarantee this…arrangementwe have, for a couple of years… I could do that… I wouldn’t even mind…” I listened to her breathing, listened to her thinking. “But even at the current rate… two hundred grand… that’s like six years or something…” She sighed. “Anything could happen in six years. How do you know you’d even want that?Doyou want that?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to pay you to be in a relationship with us for six years, Katie.”
She laughed, but it was nervous. “I know, I mean, that would be stupid. Six years, that’s crazy. That’s like… silly, right?”
I opened my eyes. Looked at her. “I want you to be in a relationship with us because youwantto be in a relationship with us. I hope that lasts six years. I hope it lasts longer. I hope itlasts, Katie.”
She was quiet. So quiet.
“I want…” I fought for the right words. “I want us, all three of us… to work… I want.” I sighed.