I was still petting the brute when I heard Katie’s footsteps on the path. I turned to face her with a smile, patting the horse like we were best fucking buddies.
My stomach was tight and tickly, and a little bit excited, and my heart was full of life.
“He likes me,” I said. “He actually fucking likes me!”
My eyes met hers, hoping for approval and joy and excitement to match mine, but there was nothing of the sort.
Katie’s eyes were puffy and sad. Her cheeks reddened from tears.
“What?” I said, dropping the horse hugs and heading straight for her. “What the hell happened?”
She struggled to speak at first, just took my arms and gripped them with tense fingers. She shook her head and another tear fell.
“Talk to me,” I said. “What is it?”
She took a gulp of air that sounded like a sob.
“It’s Jack,” she said. “The bank… the bank are repossessing, threatening to close the business…” Another tear, and a proper sob this time. “He’s selling the land, he’s got no choice. He’s got to sell it, the stables, the yard. All of it.”
“Ok,” I said. “It’s alright.”
But she was shaking her head. “It’s not alright,” she said. “My dream is over. It’s gone. It’s all fucking gone.”
And then she cried.
She really fucking cried.
She didn’t let me hold her, just brushed her tears aside and busied herself with Samson. I helped as best I could, helping her brush him down before putting his rug on, opening gates, holding a hosepipe while the water trough was filling, but I don’t believe she even noticed. Her thoughts were far away, eyes brimming with tears as they stared into the distance.
I could feel her dreams breaking.
And mine were in my throat, desperate to reach out and grab hers and hold the cracks together.
I watched Samson make his way back down the field, calling out to his horsey friends before he took off into a run, but for once Katie didn’t linger. She was already off, head collar in hand, trudging back across the yard towards the car.
I caught her up, but she said nothing, just hung the collar on its hook by Samson’s stable and gathered up the hosepipe.
“Home?” I said, and she nodded. She climbed up into the Range and clipped her belt, and her breath was shallow and ragged. I pulled away from the yard, keeping slow along the lane.
The silence was loud. Too loud.
“It’s that bad?” I said. “No room to negotiate? They won’t give him any leeway?”
She shook her head. “They’ve given him all they were willing to give. I was too late.”
“Too late?”
“I hoped I’d have enough money to pay six months’ rent up front. Jack needed the cash for the bank.”
“But that’s no longer an option?”
Her lip trembled a little. “I think it was always a longshot. Wishful thinking, both of us. He couldn’t make the business work on his own. I just hoped…” Her voice trailed off.
Wishful thinking, maybe, but the girl looked broken. She chewed on her knuckles as the car rumbled on, and the need in me boiled over, exploded. I pulled into a turning,Haugh Woodthe sign read. A parking area virtually empty. I pulled up, turned off the engine, and Katie stared at me.
“What are we…?”
“It’s your dream?” I asked. “This place? Thisparticularplace? This yard?”