18
Hands move up my calves with just the whisper of a touch.They reach my knees and then slide up my thighs, causing my breath to catch in my chest.The pulsing nub between my legs aches for the touch—any touch.Hot breath blows on my collarbone as the weight of a body covers my own, making my nipples tighten.Lips press kisses along my neck until I’m convinced I’m a ball of nerves desperate for release.
“Come for me,” he whispers against my ear before he sucks on my neck, and I come with a blinding burst of light.
I shoot up in bed, my breath coming in heaving pants and my hand over my chest.I look around the room convinced there was actually someone here, but I’m alone.
It was just a dream.
A hot dream.
A hot sex dream.
And that voice.I slide my hands through my hair and stare unseeing at the foot of the bed.I know that voice.I’ve heard it practically every day for the past year.It’s been the most stable thing in my life since Robbie died.
Tristan’s voice.
I run my hands over my face before covering my mouth and trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.I just had a sex dream…about Tristan.
It has to be because I saw him naked.I can’t deny he took my breath away when I saw him get out of the shower.I’ve never seen anyone so fit before.Robbie had more of a dad bod, which always did it for me, but I have to give a round of applause for Tristan and the amount of time he must spend at the gym to be in such good shape.
Closing my eyes to try to stabilize my breathing turns out to be a mistake because I keep picturing every detail of Tristan’s body—the sleeves of tattoos down both arms, the way his muscles bunched and flexed as he grabbed his towel, the water droplets that traced the curves of his body.Despite nearly a week passing, the images are as vivid as they were when it happened.
Snapping my eyes open, I shake my head and frantically throw the covers off of me.I walk to the kitchen like I’m being chased by the hounds of hell and pour myself a giant glass of ice water.
That’s when the guilt hits me like a two-ton truck.
I just had a sex dream about another man.And not just any man.My husband’s best friend.What the hell is wrong with me?
Not only that, but it’s the first time I’ve been aroused in over a year.I don’t know what to do with the fact it’s Tristan who’s brought my body back to life.Ithasto be because I saw him in the shower.That’s the only explanation.
Or maybe the conversation at my girls’ night over a month ago caused it, and it was Tristan that I thought about because he’s a playboy, or he used to be.I’m not really sure what his status is anymore.He seems to spend most of his free time with me, so unless he’s having a lot of late nights, I can’t imagine he’s hooking up with many women.But I’m sure he knows his way around a woman’s body.None of the women I’ve ever seen him with ever seemed disappointed.
But none of those reasons make up for the fact I had a sex dream about Tristan.He’s become my best friend, my lifeline.I can’t be thinking about him that way for so many reasons.
First, it’s disloyal to Robbie.
Second, we could never act on it.That’s a line you don’t cross.I’ve seen enough movies where the friends with benefits turns into a shitshow.Hell, Becka and Trent nearly didn’t get together because they crossed that line and Trent thought it was a mistake.She’s told me all about how hard that time was for her.
But most importantly, I’ve already lost Robbie.I can’t lose Tristan too.Especially when Tristan has never been in a relationship, and I’veonlyever been in a relationship.
Gah, I don’t even know why I’m stressing about this.It was only a dream.It doesn’t mean anything.
It doesn’t.
“Have either of you ever had a sex dream about another man?”
Becka and Tamsin both stop in their tracks and stare at me.Tamsin places the shirt she was looking at back on the rack and then asks, “Did you have a sex dream, Jo?”
I can feel my cheeks heat, but I say, “No!I was just curious.”
Becka doesn’t look convinced.“Uh-huh, sure.”She continues looking through the rack, throwing me occasional glances.“Do you mean have we had these dreams while we’ve been with our guys?”
I nod.
“Well, I can’t speak for Tamsin, but I’ve only had dreams of Trent while we’ve been together.”She’s about to look at the next shirt in her path when she turns, her eyes wide.“Oh wait!”She starts laughing hysterically, and I glance over at Tamsin hoping she can make sense of Becka’s reaction, but she looks just as confused.
Becka composes herself.“Sorry, I did have one.But it’s probably not how you meant.We had just watchedThor: Ragnarokand I nearly drooled over Chris Hemsworth in that movie.I may have had a naughty dream about him as Thor that night.”