A dose of him, my brother, the others, and some fun was exactly what I needed right now. I agreed to go to the party. Fuck it. Bart had sold his whole company and stepped out of the gaming community and all the tournaments he’d been supposed to participate in. While I wasn’t quite ready to go to that extreme, I could take one night off for old times’ sake.
Go celebrate with the boys I’d once known and give my condolences to the one I’d once loved.
Shawn’s response came through.
Shawn: He’s okay. Excited about the future but sad about the past. He’ll be happy to see you. So, are you coming to the party?
Me: You bet. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to it.
And I really, really was. There was nothing like the prospect of seeing them all again to make my soul feel lighter and the idea of “just keep swimming” feel possible again.
CHAPTER3
BART
Two billion dollars.The words kept floating through my head, but I still couldn’t believe that it had actually happened. My company had been bought for two.Billion. Dollars. I’d known it was worth a lot and that I was selling at a good time, but never—not even in my wildest dreams—would I have thought I’d get offered a sum like that.
I had, though. After a brief bidding war started by one of the guys Tanner had met when sponsoring my tournament, the new owners had made me promises about my employeesandhad thrown down the gauntlet with that offer. I’d happily accepted, obviously, and since the ink was officially dry, it was a done deal.
It had gone much faster than I’d expected, but Tanner assured me that it was completely normal to be in a state of shock for a few months after that kind of money landed in your bank account. As I got dressed for the party, I looked at myself in the mirror in my apartment, noticing that my eyes still looked wild. Wide.
They’d been that way since my father had passed, but at least now there was some excitement behind the shock. That definitely hadn’t been there before.
Slowly doing up the buttons on my shirt, I focused on the normality of the action. How it made me feel grounded to be doing something I’d done so many times before and would keep doing for as long as I had fingers that moved.
So much had changed recently that the run-of-mill things were what kept me sane amidst all the crazy unimaginable things that were happening. It was difficult to believe that I’d been bought out for such an incredible amount of money, and it was just as difficult to believe that I couldn’t call my dad and tell him about it.
Absolute joy coexisted with such immense sorrow in my chest that I had no idea how to deal with it all. This party tonight would be bittersweet. It hadn’t been my idea. My friends had insisted on throwing it as a sendoff to my old life and a way to welcome my new life in, but just because I was excited for what was coming didn’t mean I wanted to say goodbye to everything in my past.
I raked my hands through my hair, exhaling slowly as I tried once again to make sense of it all.Fucking crazy shit. All of it. I swear.
At the end of the day, though, it was life. This was how it went. One day was the lowest low and the next could be the highest high. The secret was in appreciating the highs, surviving the lows, and finding a way to be happy with everything in between.
Emotionally, I was in a weird place, but physically, I was going to be in some pretty cool places to work out my emotional shit pretty soon. I already had my first flight booked next week. I was taking off to the first of many places I wanted to visit all over the world.
Traveling the world sure as hell isn’t a bad way to work through my lows.I grinned at myself in the mirror, determined to enjoy the party even if I hadn’t been sure it was a good idea. My friends had assured me they would keep it small, though. Intimate.
I’d barely buckled my belt when my phone buzzed with the notification that the ride I’d hailed was here. Tanner was hosting the party at his place outside of the city. I still had a few things to get done before the company could be turned over for good, so I was planning on using the commute to get the last t’s crossed and i’s dotted.
I settled in the backseat of the car, pulling out my phone after greeting the driver and making sure he knew where we were going. Tanner’s place was an old Tudor that Larisa had renovated completely before they’d started dating.
As an interior designer with a client who had been impossible in his attempt to give her free rein so she’d know he trusted her, she’d turned to us to help her get a feel for him. Even if I had to say so myself, I was proud of how it had turned out thanks to our combined efforts. Mostly Larisa’s efforts, but I liked to think that our input had meant something.
The drive went by uneventfully, and before I even knew it, we were pulling up at the house. Since they’d insisted on having the party, I wasn’t surprised to see that my friends had gone all out. Lights and balloons had been hung out front and in the garden. The front door was open, and everyone was already gathered inside.
Shaking out my arms and getting my head out of work, I grinned and decided that tonight would be a good night. I never knew exactly when the grief would hit me, but if it tried to creep in tonight, I was shutting it down.
My dad had been sick for years and he’d been in terrible pain most of the time. He’d tried his best to put on a brave face, but I’d known how hard it had been for him. I might’ve lost him, but my mom had him back, he wasn’t in pain anymore, and he was no longer struggling to put on a brave face. He was at peace, and now I had to try to get some of my own.
That started right here, right now. While I would always miss him—both of them—and would never forget my parents, I had a life to live and that was what I had to stay focused on until the grief eventually stopped threatening to crush me whenever I let it in.
As I headed inside, Jeremiah and Tanner descended on me. I slapped my palm into each of theirs in turn, smiling as I looked around at the small crowd they’d invited. “Thanks for the party, guys. The place looks great.”
“Let’s get you a drink,” Tanner said, steering me toward the bar tucked into the corner of the open-concept living space that Larisa had created. He walked behind the bar and left me standing on the other side. “I know I’ve said this already, but congratulations again. I heard you got quite a deal.”
“I did.” I nodded my thanks when he passed me a beer, then did a half-turn, my elbow still propped on the counter but my gaze sweeping across the room instead of looking at the back of the bar. “Those guys you brought in helped a lot. They drove the price up and sweetened the pot for my employees, so the eventual purchasers had to make an even better deal on both fronts. It works out great for me, especially since I don’t have to worry about the people I brought onboard at all.”
Tanner made a satisfied noise at the back of his throat, but I was only vaguely aware of it. My gaze landed on Shawn speaking to a woman with vibrant red hair and skin so pale, it was almost translucent.