Stephanie squeezed his arm. “That’s true. Look at Jer’s brother, for example. He got taken before he could get to any of it. We’re all on borrowed time.”
“Jesus, that’s depressing,” Shawn said, draining what had been left of his beer before he grinned and shook his head. “At this rate, we’re all going to drive straight to the airport from here just so we don’t have any of those same regrets. Just a question, though. Do any of you actually have time to take off on the next flight out?”
He looked at Jeremiah, Stephanie, Larisa, and Tanner. “You guys sure don’t. Between business and baby-making, you’ve all got your hands full.”
“Yeah, but that’s the part of the list where we’re at right now,” Jeremiah agreed. “None of us are at a point in our lives where traveling is a priority. You guys could go straight to the airport, though.”
Shawn groaned, bringing his fist to his forehead. “Actually, I can’t. It would’ve been awesome, but I’ve got a photoshoot tomorrow that I got booked for three months ago. It would’ve been great to throw a dart at the departures board and take off to whichever destination it landed on, but that’s just not in the cards for me right now.”
“This is what I’m talking about, though.” I motioned at the side of the table Tanner, Jeremiah, and their girls were on. “I get where you guys are, but we’re just not there yet. Shawn still can’t cross off tossing a dart at the departures board because he’s got to work. It just feels like there’s always going to be something standing in the way if I don’t just actively make it happen.”
“Okay, but can you afford to just take off right now?” Tanner asked. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you kind of run a super successful software development company that’s just released a brand new, groundbreaking game engine. I’m all for going and making your bucket list your bitch, but you’ve also got e-sports tournaments coming up, and you’re a pretty big deal in that world. Can you just leave?”
“Nope,” I said, then made a decision right there and then. I knew it was sudden, but I also knew I wouldn’t regret it. “That’s why I said I had to actively work on making it happen. As of right now, my company is up for sale. Any of you interested?”
My friends went so quiet that I’d have been able to hear a pin drop on our table. Tanner blinked a few times, his eyes growing wide when he realized I was serious. “You’re going to sell your company?”
“I am,” I confirmed, my confidence in the decision growing with every passing second. “I’m going to sell and focus on living the most fulfilling life possible. I don’t want to die with a single thing left on my bucket list, and if I sell now, I’ll comfortably be able to afford to do whatever I want. Like you said, the company is successful and we’ve just launched the biggest new thing to hit the market in years. If I sell now, I’ll get more than ever before. I’ll be striking while the iron is hot.”
“You’re sure about this,” Jeremiah said, not asking. “If I knew anything about your industry, I’d take the company off your hands right here, but since I don’t, I’d just run it into the ground. I can put some feelers out for you, though.”
“Same here,” Tanner said. “When I was sponsoring that tournament of yours a while ago, I met some people. There may be a taker among them. In fact, I’m pretty sure there will be.”
“Do it.” I didn’t need time to reconsider. “Put out your feelers. The sooner it goes, the better.”
“Okay,” Jeremiah agreed first. Then Tanner did, too.
Nodding at them, I brought my glass to my lips and took a long sip, feeling better than I had in weeks. A lot of people might’ve said that this wasn’t the time to make such a major life decision. My dad had been gone for less than a week, and while I’d known he was very sick, there was no real way of being prepared for losing your last remaining parent.
The way I saw it, this was the perfect time to make that decision, though. Everything I’d been through with my dad the last few years had given me a different perspective, one that emphasized making the most of every damn day, and at the moment, I wasn’t doing that.
I’d built my company from the ground up—with a little help from my friends, of course—and I loved what I did, but I had done it now. I didn’t have any exact figures in my head at the drop of a hat, but I knew the company would be worth more than I could spend in one lifetime.
So why keep it?
I’d done what I’d set out to do, and now I was ready to move on with this next phase of my life—while I was young enough and healthy enough to enjoy the success I’d achieved. I could drop dead at any moment, and the stress of running my own company sure as fuck didn’t make it any less likely that I would.
Dad and Father Al had once had a conversation about how youth was wasted on the young. While I wasn’t a child anymore at twenty-six, I was in my prime and I wouldn’t let what remained of my youth be wasted on me. I was going to squeeze every last drop of life out of every minute and then some.
Fuck the ordinary and the expected.I hadn’t met the love of my life yet, so I couldn’t marry her even if I wanted to. Love and the baby carriage could come when and if it did.What I need right now is the extraordinary and the unexpected.
And once I went for it, that was exactly what I got. That, and so much more.
CHAPTER2
SERENITY
Iwalked into my building after grocery shopping at the little store around the corner, and I paused to get my mail just inside the door. Pulling a stack of envelopes out of the box, I groaned and decided not to leaf through them right here.
It was only once I got up the stairs to my tiny apartment that I sorted through the stack, kicking off my shoes and carrying my groceries into the kitchen while I did. I’d only gotten a few things from the store, but since it was just for me, it would be enough if I spread it out a little.
The mail wasallbills. I groaned and dropped the letters on the counter, focusing on packing away the groceries instead. Despair threatened to drag me under as I organized my meager purchases, wondering if maybe it was time to give up on my dreams and rejoin the formal workforce.
My bills were piling up faster than ever, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get ahead. Whenever I thought I had a grip on things, I’d end up with some unexpected expense and I’d be right back at square one.
Last month, I’d desperately needed a trip to the dentist, and the month before that, it had been car trouble. I barely made my rent every month and I already lived as frugally as possible.Maybe it’s time to pack it up.
Just the thought was enough to make my heart dive into a tailspin, but if something didn’t give soon, I wouldn’t have much of a choice. My mother might not have raised quitters, but at some point, quitting had to be the smarter choice.