Before I’d even made the conscious decision to do it, I was setting my notebook aside and lying back down on my bed. My hands busily roamed along my sides and over my stomach, imagining that it was him doing it instead.
I remembered how he used to take his time.
The hard and fast surprise-fuck we’d had at Tanner’s had been an exception to the rule, if he was still the same as he used to be. While he was also unbelievably good at going at it like that, I knew he preferred to have time.
Memories of quickies and whole nights spent together played through my head as my hand dipped into my pajama pants and stroked softly over my clit. Almost immediately, I abandoned any vague ideas I might’ve had about not following through on this and moaned. I closed my eyes and focused on relieving some of this tension while I still could.
Tomorrow night, we’d be on a plane, and after that, I had no clue when I’d be in a room of my own again. Since I’d had dinner and was packed, there was absolutely nothing else that I had to get to tonight.
I kept stroking myself softly, remembering how good it had felt to be with him again and how he still knew my body’s cues so well that making me come seemed like it was almost no effort to him. Before long, I was moaning his name and wishing that he was here as I took myself to the point of no return.
The walls in my apartment were paper thin, and since I could feel a massive orgasm brewing, I grabbed my pillow at the last possible moment and slammed it over my face, screaming into it as my hips bucked and I finally went tumbling over a sky-high ledge.
As I lay there panting in the aftermath, I realized with a start that I’d just gotten off to a man who, from then on, was supposed to be nothing more than my buddy. My pal. My travel companion. And worse than that, now that he was starring in my fantasies again, it was absolutely not going to be the last time I did.
CHAPTER9
BART
Izipped up my bag, hoping that I’d remembered all the basics. While I wasn’t opposed to the idea of having to buy an extra pair of socks if it was necessary, I didn’t want to have to spend money on stupid shit.
I’d read more than enough accounts of people who came into sudden windfalls and then lost it all because they wasted it on crap they didn’t need. Before my sale of the company, I’d been well off. It had always made me enough money that I hadn’t exactly been hurting, but I’d always been careful.
It was even more important to be mindful of wasteful expenditure now. Besides, I’d much rather spend money on Serenity than myself anyway.
All I needed was a pair of sturdy boots, socks, a decent jacket, and I would be good to go. I had all that packed, at least. Just as I hoisted my suitcase off the bed and carried it to the door, someone knocked.
I frowned, checking the clock in the corner for some absurd reason, even though I wasn’t expecting anyone. It was just after eight, and my frown deepened.It’s not likely to be a delivery person at this hour. Plus, I haven’t ordered anything.
Curious, I opened up and grinned in surprise when I found Shawn standing on the other side. “Hey, man. What’s up? Were you missing me already?”
He laughed and stepped around me to let himself in, heading straight for the kitchen. “I came for one last beer before you take off. I can’t believe you’re really doing it.”
“Yeah, neither can I,” I said. “It feels good, though. Lucky for you, I haven’t finished all the beers yet. I was saving some for later.”
“Then I guess it’s good that I camelater.” He looked at me over his shoulder and wagged his eyebrows.
I laughed. “Indeed. I wasn’t expecting to see you, but I’m glad I saved some then. How was that photoshoot you had today?”
He shrugged, pulled two bottles of beer out of my otherwise empty fridge, and handed one to me. He popped the top off his. “It was fine. I got another booking out of it, which is great.”
“Congratulations,” I said, cocking my head as I cast a gaze at his expression. “What’s really going on with you? Did you just come by to say goodbye or is there another reason you’re here?”
Sliding into one of the stools at my kitchen island, his dark eyes came to mine and it was almost like I could feel him assessing me. I just didn’t know why he was doing it yet. “Where are you going first? What are your plans for the trip?”
“Iceland is up first. Before I knew Serenity would be coming with me, I decided to come home to plan the next leg instead of just continuing from there, since that would’ve made packing a nightmare. I have some basic ideas of everything I’d like to do, but we’re in no rush. We’ll see how it goes.”
“What happens if it doesn’t go well?”
I searched his eyes, wondering what this was all about. “If it doesn’t go well, then it’s no harm, no foul. I’ll go on the next leg of the trip, and if she doesn’t want to come with me, she doesn’t have to.”
“If it’s a complete disaster, will you still pay for her album? It’s been a long time since you were together. You’re both very different people now.”
“Of course I will. I only came up with the whole thing of her coming with me to give her a reason to accept the money that wouldn’t make it feel like a handout to her. Plus, it’s got the added benefit that I’ll have a friend with me instead of having to go alone.” I moved across from him, leaning with my hip against the counter as I stared at him head on. “Why are you so serious all of a sudden?”
His features turned hard. “I love you, but if you hurt my sister, I will make you regret it. Regardless of our friendship, I have to stick by her first and foremost. She’s family.”
“I know how you feel about your family,” I said earnestly. “We’ve already had this conversation, and I’ll tell you the same thing I did then. I only have good intentions with her. I want to help her and it really looked like she could use the break. You didn’t tell me she was that down on herself and her chances of making it.”