“Not until you swear that nothing is bothering you. Tell me you’re perfectly content with everything. Then I’ll leave.”
“I’m not stupid enough to lie to you. I did it to your brother once and he washed my mouth out with soap.” I paused, reliving the memory in my head. “Everything I ate for a week tasted like a bar of Ivory.”
“Jesse doesn’t tolerate dishonesty.”
“Yet he somehow tolerates my brother.” I rolled my eyes.
“Are you jealous that Tate is in a relationship with Jesse?”
I’d have sat up if he wasn’t pressing his weight on top of me. “No, stupid! I wanted you.”
“Hm. Then why’d you throw yourself at my brother every chance you got?”
Ugh.I had done that, but it wasn’t for the reasons he might think. I was begging for someone to keep me in line, and I didn’t care who did it. I couldn’t be mad at my younger self for acting out to get a reaction from Jesse. No, I’d loved his stern handling of me back then.
“Jesse responded a lot like you did, but I just wanted his attention, not anything else,” I clarified.
Tanner traced a finger over my mouth. “I know you wanted a relationship with me, but our timing was off.”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“I was in firefighter training classes, plus taking college credits. I didn’t have a lot of free time. I’m sorry for not explaining that to you. Once things eased up, you had your mind set on going to California. I had a spot waiting for me at Falcon Creek Fire and Rescue. Because of how small our town is, it was hard to land a paid job.”
“I know.”
Tanner stared at me and I missed how close we used to be. “What about you and Dane?”
“I had a huge crush on him in high school. After prom we, um, he gave me his, uh crown,” I babbled, not wanting to tell the entire truth of our connection. Dane and I spent the night together, but I hadn’t told him I was a virgin until the next morning. He had been even sweeter once that information came out, but then it seemed like everything fell apart shortly after.
“Did he?” He stroked the scruff on his chin. “Is that all?”
“I’m talking about the prom king crown,” I lamented with a sigh. Tanner did not need to know all the details that transpired between the two of us. He knew too much already. I was boy-crazy apparently, seeking what I couldn’t seem to find.
“Come on, buttercup. You’re holding something back.”
“Dane flitted away to Paris or London or somewhere else fabulous. Barely contacted me at all.” I fought to keep control without giving away more than I wanted him to know. Tanner wouldn’t judge me or even be upset, but I clearly hadn’t gotten over everything, even after so many years.
“Spill it.”
“It’s not your business.” I attempted to cross my arms over my chest, but it didn’t work. Sighing, I rolled my eyes. “Please leave.”
“Did you ever think about being in a relationship with the two of us?”
It was like he had peered into my college fantasies, peeling back layers of deeply hidden thoughts. Thoughts I’d never told a soul. I hadn’t been completely over Dane when I fell head over heels in love with Tanner. But time heals all wounds. Still, I’d definitely given the idea more than a once over. “Sure, Tanner. I thought about it.”
“At the same time?”
“I fantasized once or twice,” I admitted. Licking my lips, I tried to pretend I wasn’t ready to throw my arms around him and kiss him, proving that he’d been very much on my mind in California. I missed his kisses. His touches. His taste. Would I be thinking the same if it were Dane pressing me to the bed? No, he wasn’t dominant. Well, at least I didn’t think so.
“Not just sex, sweetheart. I’m talking about the complete package,” he clarified. “A relationship, rules, rewards, punishments. Everything.”
“A thruple? Do you mean like what Tater and company are doing?”
“Yeah.”
I laughed in his face. “First of all, I’m not Marissa.” I held up my pointer finger. “Second of all—”
“I don’t need a list of reasons. I’m just asking if you’ve thought about it.”