Tiana
I’d acted so stupid in front of Tanner. He’d grown even more handsome in the time we had been apart and, though I wanted to reach out to him more than once, my shitty life circumstances prevented me from doing so. I worked my ass off for years to keep some semblance of sanity, but the truth was, for all the glitter on the outside, the fun parties, rubbing elbows with celebrities, and getting my name out there, I wasn’t truly living. My hard work in trying to break into the fashion industry was not as successful as I had hoped. Two knocks sounded on my bedroom door, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glared as if the person on the other side could see me.
“Leave me alone, Tate, I’m sulking.”
“It’s Tanner.”
Speechless, I jumped off my bed and padded to the door, cracking it open enough to see the stern look playing on his face. Praying for courage and thwarting the urge to brat, I raised my eyebrows. “Did you get lost finding your way out?”
“No. Can we talk?”
“I’m busy,” I lied.
“Doing what, buttercup?”
Buttercup. He and Jesse called me the sweetest nickname I’d ever heard because of something that happened years ago. A bunch of us had ridden our horses to a spot near a creek to have a picnic and were goofing around. Tanner plucked a handful of buttercup flowers and convinced me that if you held them under your chin and they shined yellow, that meant you loved butter, according to an old wives’ tale. Jesse played along, plucking his own handful, and the silly pet name stuck. They each cared for me in their own ways.
Sighing, I opened the door and returned to my bed. Flopping onto it, I stared appreciatively as Tanner strutted into my bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
Somehow, I needed to secure a job. Unfreeze my checking and savings accounts at my local bank. Stop being a huge energy drain on my parents. And a million other things.
“I don’t even know where to start with my long ass to-do list.”
“I’d like to help you, but I should lay something out on the table first.” He rubbed a spot on his throat. “I think you could use a release, one that I’m sure I can provide.”
“But?”
“Dane and I have been together for a while.”
“He and I kept in touch for a little while after he graduated, but then things got complicated.” I fidgeted with a frayed string on the hem of my shirt. “The surprises just keep coming today.”
Many of the men in our friendship circle openly dated men, but I couldn’t imagine the circumstances that brought the two of them together. Dane and I were good friends in high school. As friendly as we were, we hadn’t been in a relationship, though I thought we had been heading in that direction.
“What’s your answer?” Tanner asked point blank. I could no longer pretend he wasn’t standing in my bedroom offering to spank me.
“I don’t know.” Chewing on my bottom lip, I crossed my arms over my chest. “So, wait. You are willing to help me work through the tsunami of emotions trapped inside, but you are already in a relationship.” I fretted. “I appreciate the offer, but if you do that, I’m going to get attached to you again.”
“Again?”
Fuck.Instead of answering or clarifying what I said, I laid out on the bed. Nope. I wouldn’t make this complicated. I was keeping a lot of shit trapped for a reason. Falling for Tanner Hopkins was not on my to-do list. I’d absolutely crumble if he put his hands on me in any way, shape, or form. He joined me on the bed, casually climbing on top of me. I shut my eyes, forcing distance, at least in my mind.
“Don’t be like that, Tiana.”
“I’m sure Dane wouldn’t appreciate your position right now.”
“Dane is onboard with me providing you a release in any way I see fit.”
My eyes flew open as if on their own, and I clapped my hands over my mouth to prevent me from actively provoking him like I used to in college. No, it would be too easy. I breathed in and out through my nose a few times, then slowly dropped my hands to my sides.
“Oh.”
“We have an open arrangement when it comes to certain things. Discipline is one of them.”
Gazing into his gorgeous green eyes for a full thirty seconds, I let some of my worries fade. “What’s another?”
“Orgasms.”
“Get off me, Tanner.”