The crystal chandeliers, the array of vibrant gowns, and the soft strains of a waltz faded to nothing. She had not had his undivided attention since they’d stood at her mother’s graveside two years ago. The prospect that this might be the last time left her just as heavy with grief.
“I have been asked to keep you company,” he said in the smooth voice that stirred the hairs on her nape. “And to extol the value of marriage, which is rather ironic considering I am sworn to bachelorhood.” He smiled, and she found herself smiling, too.
“While Sebastian acts the hero, you’ve got the role of brother.” Was there no justice in the world? “I’m sorry you’ve been lumbered with me.”
He gave a half shrug. “It’s no hardship.”
What did that mean?
Did he like playing the older sibling?
Did he like her company?
Who knew?
She scanned the impressive breadth of his shoulders, and although her décolleté exposed a little more flesh tonight, his gaze never dropped lower than her nose. “Even if it were, I am sure you could handle any problem thrown your way.”
His smile faded. “I only wish that were true.”
More conundrums!
“You seem preoccupied tonight.” There was little point dancing around the obvious. “As I have no interest in my brother’s matchmaking plans, perhaps we should discuss the reason for your disquiet.”
“A gentleman never burdens a lady.” His eyes moved to the wisp of golden hair brushing her cheek. He thrust his hands behind his back like a schoolmaster observing a pupil.
“By society’s standards, I am no longer a lady.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “You’ll always be a lady. I’ll not have anyone say otherwise.”
They fell silent.
Could he feel the charge of energy in the air? Could he sense she struggled with this undeniable attraction? Or was he oblivious?
“Don’t blame your brother,” he said, much to her relief, for she welcomed a distraction from her wayward thoughts. “He is duty-bound to see you content and settled. He swore to protect you always.”
“Our versions of happiness differ.” Seeing her name scrawled across that vile pamphlet made her want to fight against conformity, not become a slave to society’s dictates. “May I tell you a secret, Mr St Clair?” She leaned close enough to inhale his beguiling scent.
“You’re not worried I will tell your brother?”
She gave a coy smile. “I think I can trust you.”
“Like Sebastian, I have your best interests at heart.”
Hesitating for barely a moment, she said, “I plan to leave England.” She had to do something to banish this obsession. Prayed there was some truth to the adage ‘out of sight, out of mind’. “Miss Ware wishes to go to Egypt to assist with an excavation. I may accompany her if I can persuade Sebastian to agree. Amongst other members of the British Archaeological Association, Lord and Lady Ambrose will act as our chaperones.”
His body stiffened.
His bright blue eyes dulled.
He wore his inscrutable expression like a mask of stone.
Anticipating his objection, she raised her chin. “I’ll not marry a man of my brother’s choosing, Nicholas.” His given name slipped from her lips without thought. “I want more than a mediocre life with a mediocre husband.” When he continued to stand there mute, she added, “Please say something.”
But Sebastian returned to interrupt their private conversation. “The baronet is a bumbling idiot. Two footmen are guarding him in the study, but I told Miss Ferrington we would assist her in seeing Sir Thomas safely home.” He patted Nicholas’ chest. “Can I rely on you to be in Grosvenor Street at ten tomorrow morning?”
“Of course,” Nicholas said, finding his voice.
Helen’s heart skipped a beat. “But we are journeying to Haslemere tomorrow, to Grayswood Folly. We agreed to make an early start and leave at ten.”