“Aren’t men supposed to be making these grand gestures? Not women. Women are supposed to sit in their towers and wait for some knight in shining armo—”
“No. Just… no. He told me in the parking lot how much he wanted me. I messed that up and I’ve had to live with this all this time. I knew it almost immediately after I left, but once you leave the camp, your clearance to get back in is gone. I had no way of getting back to him until now, not without the camp finding me and following through with reporting my naked swim to the authorities.” I look down with a sigh. “Now that I know he’s done for the season, this is the only place he can be. Whatever happens up here, I’ll find him one way or another.”
“And how well do you know this Rugged Mountain place? It could be huge. It’s… a mountain.” She says the words sarcastically enough that I see her point. I have no idea what I’m getting into or if Alex is even thinking of me. Besides that, this is a pretty bold move. He could be over me. He could have someone else. A million reasons to turn around run through my mind, but my heart keeps driving forward.
“I suppose this is it,” Susan says, leaning forward. “It’s quaint.”
The town is still a few hundred feet away but from the road we’re driving in on, it lays out like an old western town with flat top buildings that sprawl on either side of the road and a backdrop of white-capped mountains that spill into the town. The closer we get, the harder my heart pumps. All of this seemed like a great idea in Massachusetts. Hell, it even seemed like a good idea five minutes ago. But now that I’m driving up on Main Street, looking at the buildings, seeing actual faces, I’m chickening out.
“Maybe we should get lunch first. My stomach is feeling off,” I say, glancing toward Susan as we pass by a diner. “There aren’t many people inside. I can’t imagine we’d run into him there.”
She laughs. “Aren’t we here to run into him? Isn’t that why we just drove for three days?”
I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm the butterflies swirling in circles. “Yes, but I need time to gather myself. I don’t know what to say to him. He’s got his whole life together. He’s… and I’m…”
“You graduated top of your class, you follow your heart, and you never quit. I think that’s pretty together.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been looking for a job for months now. I’m almost out of savings. If I don’t find something quick, I’m screwed.”
“One thing at a time, Casanova,” Susan says, holding the diner door open for me. “You’re man hunting right now. When you get back to town, you can keep searching for a job.”
“That’s the thing,” I say, staring back at her as the scent of fruit pies blast us in the face, “I’m not sure I’m coming back.”
The waitress at the door pulls two menus from beneath her podium and guides us toward a table in the back corner near a window that overlooks Main Street. “Can I get you two a cup of coffee?”
I nod, but Susan keeps her eyes locked on me. “What do you mean you’re not coming back? Where would you go? What about us?”
“You have everything including a great job and an amazing boyfriend. Hell, you guys are talking about buying a house.” I bite the inside of my cheek and stare outside. “I need a fresh start. Maybe this is it.”
“Oh,this? Yeah,this.My bad…this.” Her tone is so sarcastic, that I think maybe her eyes are going to roll right out of her head. “You’ve officially lost your mind. A town this small isn’t looking for a psychiatrist, and you don’t even know if this man is still into you. If I were a good friend, I’d take you home right now, and make you watch every episode ofLove Island. Those people all thought they were in love too. Then two weeks later, it all went to shit, and they’re thankful the whole thing was only for TV.” She grips my arm from across the table. “Are you hearing me, Beth?”
I glance toward her, tears in my eyes. “Haven’t you ever felt this way? Don’t you feel this way about Gary? I can’t explain it. It doesn’t make sense. I know that. But…”
“But… it should make sense. Love should make sense. I don’t know who the magic fairy was that told everyone it shouldn’t, but it should. It’s a lifelong commitment. It should make the most sense of anything in your life.”
I bite the inside of my cheek then move back as the waitress settles our cups of coffee down in front of us. Maybe Susan is right. Maybe this is crazy. Maybe planning a future around a guy I haven’t seen or heard from in months is the definition of insanity. I mean he could’ve found me before now, but he didn’t.
“What can I get you two to eat?” the waitress asks, holding her pad and a pen in front of her with a wide, bright smile.
I look outside, and then toward the waitress. This was dumb. I shouldn’t have come here. He probably spent the summer listening to horror stories about how awful I am from human resources. Even if he hasn’t, he’s probably realized what a lunatic I am for swimming nude my first day on the job. “Just the check. I think we need to head home.”
The young waitress pulls her lips in and nods as though she’s confused. “Okay, no problem. You ladies have a great day. Don’t worry about the coffee. It’s on the house.”
Susan reaches for my hand, squeezing it in hers. “I didn’t mean to talk you out of this. I… I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know,” I say, “but you’re right. I’m sorry we drove all the way here before I realized it.” I slide up from the booth, my heart somewhere in my stomach. “Do you mind if we go? We can stop anywhere else on the way back.”
She shakes her head. “I’m really sorry, Beth. Let’s give it just a little while longer in town. If there’s even the smallest chance that the love of your life is here, it’s worth at least an hour of looking.”
“Really,” I say, “it’s okay. The whole thing is silly. I think I’ve been watching too many romantic comedies. I’m not Hugh Grant, and this isn’tLove Actually.”
Actually, this probably isn’t love at all.
Chapter Nine
Alex
I turn up my music and lean back in the tattoo chair as Henry works on a piece I’ve been trying to finish on my left arm. It’s the last tattoo I need to finish the sleeve. A no swimming sign.