Jean pulled a cup from the cabinet and dumped the contents of another in the sink. She wiped it out and set it next to the clean one, then put a tea bag in each empty cup. The coffee pot on the counter was still on, and he wondered if she’d gotten any sleep since she’d sent Russell to the Murphy house the day before.
He felt a pang of concern. Maybe he should suggest she come to the house instead of Russell. Alexa wouldn’t want her mom to be alone right now. At least at the house Julia and Elise could keep an eye on her.
But Jean would insist someone stay at their house in case Alexa showed up or the police came with news, which would mean Russell would be at the house alone.
Fuck.
He needed to take care of Alexa’s parents, but first things first.
She poured hot water over the tea bags and looked at him. “Cream? Lemon?”
He shook his head. “Straight up is fine.”
She pushed the clean mug toward him andcarried the one she’d rinsed out to a stool across the island from where he sat.
“How is Russell?” she asked.
Nick stared down at his tea. “About as good as can be expected. We’re trying to keep him fed, encouraging him to sleep if he can.”
“I’m guessing he’s not very cooperative on the latter front,” she said.
“No, but I can’t blame him,” Nick said.
“I imagine this is almost as hard for you as it is for us,” Jean said.
Her concern was like a wound to his chest. “Please don’t do that,” he said softly.
“I know you must care for her, must love her, to do all you’re doing,” Jean said. “To do all you’ve done.”
“That doesn’t really matter though, does it? This is my fault. She would still be safe if I hadn’t told her about Leland Walker.” He hadn’t meant to give voice to the accusations tumbling around in his head, not to Jean Nash.
“I’m not sure I believe that,” Jean said.
“It’s not a matter of belief,” Nick said. “I was the one who told her.”
“We don’t know how this would have played out otherwise.” She took a sip of her tea. “Alexa couldhave found out at any point, especially with her job. Someone else could have told her eventually. We just don’t know.”
He shook his head. It wasn’t her job to comfort him. He didn’t deserve her comfort. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t come here to talk about me. I came to see if there’s anything you need, anything I can get you or do for you.”
She dunked the tea bag in the hot water a couple of times before letting it go. It bobbed at the top of the water for a second before sinking into the cup.
“I like to think I know my daughter better than anyone.” She met his eyes. “Even you.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Alexa was still an enigma to him, secretive with her thoughts, guarded about her internal world. Gaining insight about her still felt like winning a prize.
“Then trust me when I say that Alexa has a mind of her own. She always has, since long before the accident when she had no choice but to prove the strength of her will.” She sighed. When she looked at him, he realized her eyes were bloodshot either from crying or lack of sleep. Probably both. “She could have left this alone a hundred times since she met you. In fact, her father and I encouraged her to do just that more times than I can count. But Lexwanted to know, needed to know, what had happened to her, to Samantha. And then, once she knew for sure, she wanted Leland to pay for what he did, more for Samantha than for herself, I think.”
“I can’t say that I blame her,” Nick said.
“We didn’t like it, her dad and I, but we know her well enough to know that when she makes up her mind about something — or someone — there’s no changing it,” Jean said. “I would be doing her a disservice to think you were a bad influence.”
Nick knew the “someone” was directed at him. “I wanted to come sooner, to meet you and Russell, but she said it wasn’t a good time. And like you said, she knows her own mind.” He hesitated. “I’m sure you have questions. About me, my family, our business.”
It took her a few seconds to respond. “I only have one question actually.”
“Shoot.” It wasn’t how he’d intended to have the conversation with Alexa’s parents. He had no idea what Alexa would want him to say about MIS and what she’d want him to withhold, but he would just have to play it by ear.
“Will you find her?” Jean asked. “Will you bring her back safely to me?”