He wasn’t surprised she’d picked up on his mood. There was a time when everyone assumed he and Elise would end up together even though they’d never been anything but friends. In the year that she’d been home, she’d become one of his closest confidantes, but this was one time when he couldn’t confide in her.
“Not really,” he said. “But I can’t talk about it yet. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m here if you need me. I hope you know that,” Elise said.
He forced a smile. “I do.”
He’d spent the night at the hospital torn between the beauty of the drama unfolding around him — family and new life and fresh starts — and the fact that something was missing.
That Alexa was missing.
He’d wanted her next to him in one of the waiting room chairs, had wanted to feel her head against his shoulder when she fell asleep, to get her hot chocolate from the vending machine.
Most of all he’d wanted her to see his nephew. Had wanted to share that moment, to share his family, with her.
They hadn’t gotten an hour into the night before Nick knew he had to tell Ronan. The timing couldn’t be worse, but Ronan would be busy with Julia and the baby for months to come, and before he brought his wife and child home from the hospital, he deserved to know that Nick had been seeing Alexa Nash.
Nick didn’t know what would happen, didn’t know if Ronan would forgive him or beat the shit out of him, but Nick had to tell him. Alexa was too important to him to keep her hidden away like a dirty little secret.
He would have to be honest with Ronan. And then he would have to be honest with Alexa.
There was no other way.
He looked up as the courtyard gate opened and Ronan stepped onto the patio.
“What are you doing home?” Elise asked. “I thought you were staying at the hospital?”
“I am, but Julia forgot a couple things. I’m going to grab them and go back.”
“Have time for a beer?” Elise asked.
Ronan grinned. “I would kill for a quick beer.”
Elise got to her feet and disappeared into the kitchen.
“So how does it feel?” Nick asked.
Ronan grinned. “It feels pretty fucking amazing.”
Nick nodded. “I’m happy for you, man. He’s beautiful. Dad was really touched by the name.”
“Here you go,” Elise said, handing a beer to Ronan. “Give my sister and nephew a kiss. I’m going to bed.”
They sat in silence, cloaked in darkness. The house was quiet behind them, Declan long since in bed, Elise probably tucked away in the guest suite next to Nick’s bedroom.
“I’ve been seeing someone,” Nick said, staring down at his beer.
“I had a feeling,” Ronan said. “Why the secrecy?”
“It’s Alexa Nash.” It was almost easy. The words just slid out of his mouth, like his brain didn’t want to give him time to change his mind.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Nick hadn’t been sure Ronan would remember her name, but that had been foolish. Ronan remembered everything, especially when it came to business. “Please tell me you’re fucking kidding, Nick.”
Nick hadn’t expected the plea he heard in Ronan’s voice. Anger, disappointment, fear even. But not the plea that said if Nick was telling the truth, nothing would ever be the same. Like he was giving Nick a chance to change his mind, to say it was a mistake, that he was just fucking with Ronan.
“I’m not,” Nick said. “And I can’t even say I wish I were.”
Ronan was quiet for so long Nick almost expected to look over and find him gone. But he was there, still as a statue next to Nick.