He drove them deep into the woods, through a narrow trail. The stones popped and tinged beneath the wheels of the car. Fear pounded in Nicky's chest. She wanted to open the door, to jump out with Rosie, but the man still held that gun as he drove. If they made any sudden moves, he could end their lives in an instant.
Nicky looked at Rosie. She would never forget the fear in her sister's brown eyes. Rosie was a year younger than Nicky, and she had always been more naive. While Nicky liked to date boys in town, drink alcohol sometimes and party, Rosie was bookish and smart. But they were best friends. Nicky would have died for her.
The man stopped the car outside of a lake. It was dark now, navy blue taking over the world. When he shut off the headlights, the only light that shone down was from the full moon above.
As Nicky's eyes adjusted, she saw that they were also parked beside an old, derelict cabin, right in front of the lake.
Nicky and Rosie were both shaking, terrified. Nicky remembered feeling like it was all a sick, twisted dream. A nightmare. This summer was supposed to be about having fun with her friends and her sister. Just last night, Nicky and Rosie had been out at the old playground with a group of people; Nicky got a little tipsy off the alcohol some of the older boys had brought, while Rosie had obviously stayed sober. Rosie was the younger one, but she was also the responsible one, and she’d always keep an eye on Nicky if she ever got too drunk.
But it was all going to end. They were both going to die.
The man kept the gun on them and directed them to the edge of the lake. He watched them, smiling, before he tied their hands with rope. Nicky didn't struggle against the restraints. She was too petrified.
"Do you know what I'm going to do?" he asked.
Nicky felt her chest tightening. She didn't want to look. She didn't want to see.
"I'm going to throw you in the water," he said.
And he did.
Nicky plunged into dark, cold water. Bubbles fizzled up toward the surface, where she could see the moonlight filtering in. She kicked and struggled, but without her hands, she just couldn't swim.
She was going to die here.
She was sure, in that moment, that it was all over.
***
Nicky awoke with a gasp, drenched in sweat. It took her mind a moment to realize she wasn't back at the lake. She was in a motel room.
There was a voice: "Lyons, are you okay?"
Nicky jolted out of her trance and looked over. Ken was sitting on the edge of her bed, his thick, dark eyebrows furrowed. His hands were hovering over her. Then it hit her--she must have been vocal in her sleep. Vocal about the nightmare--no, the memory--that still hung so heavy on her mind.
The lake.
Rosie...
It was all too real.
"Lyons," Ken said. He placed a gentle hand on her arm.
In her right mind, Nicky would be horrified to be so close to Ken Walker, of all people, but not only that--her colleague was seeing her in a truly vulnerable moment. She would be mortified by it later. But right now, the panic was too strong. Her heart pounded in her ears. She couldn't escape the images. She felt like she was still at the bottom of that lake. Like she'd never really left.
Nicky hugged herself and pinched her eyes shut, trying desperately to hold back her sobs.
Her psychiatrist had been over this with her a million times. Her PTSD from the incident sometimes sent her right back in time, to the point where she had no control over how she might act or feel in the present moment.
After a moment, she felt Ken’s hand on her shoulder squeeze. She hated herself for being comforted by it. Hated herself because she needed this. To feel close to another person. She couldn't help it. She let herself lean onto him, feel the warmth of him, even if this was Ken, of all people. Nicky didn't care. At least she was able to keep it together long enough to not cry.
"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away, but she couldn't stop the trembling.
"No," Ken said softly. "Don't apologize. It's okay. Where were you?"
After this embarrassing display, the least she could do was be honest. "It's... about what happened with my sister. I relive it sometimes. That's all."
Ken nodded. "I've read your file, Lyons. I know what happened. I'm sorry."