“Stop that, Jake. You’re just encouraging him,” she censures me, but she’s shit out of luck. I just laugh harder. “Jake!”
“I can’t help it,” I try to defend, and she shakes her head.
“Let’s get to the bathroom, Lennon,” she says.
“Mom? Can Jake take me to the men’s room?”
“I can take you to the family bathroom that’s girls or boys,” she says, but Lennon is already shaking his head.
“I want Jake to take me.”
“Lennon–”
“Actually, I need to go to the bathroom, too, Katie. Besides, that’s what men do.”
“What men do?” she asks, her forehead crinkled up.
“Yeah, when men got to poop, they go to the bathroom together, Katie. Ain’t that right, Lennon?”
“Yeah, Mom! Me and Jake gotta poop like real men. Right, Jake?” Lennon says so proudly that I find myself ruffling his hair with my fingers with pride.
“You know it, little man.”
I look up at Katie and find her looking at us and smiling. It feels strange.
“Well, I guess I’ll sit this one out, since I’m a girl and all.”
“And we’re glad you are,” I tell her without thinking, giving her a wink. I take Lennon’s hand, and we walk toward the restroom. It doesn’t truly hit me that I just flirted with Katieuntil right this minute. I mentally kick myself, then shrug it off. It was just a silly response. It doesn’t mean anything.
“I can go potty by myself, Jake. I’m a big kid. I don’t need anyone in there with me,” Lennon says when we get to the bathroom.
“Sounds good to me, buddy.”
He marches in there with his head held high. He looks so much like Katie, but there are times that I think I see traces of me in the way he acts. I always have, I guess. I just thought it was my brother that I was seeing in him. God, I’ve been so stupid and blind.
I’ve been a chump.
“I had fun today, Jake,” Lennon yells through the stall door. “Thanks for coming with us. It’s been the best day ever!”
Those words might be simple for a kid to say, but fuck, they pack a wallop. My heart clenches in my chest to the point of pain and I suck in a breath. My throat feels tight. I find myself wringing my hands together.
Damn.
“I’m the one who should be thanking you, Lennon. I had a lot of fun with you today.”
“Does this mean you like me now?” Lennon asks, the sound of the toilet flushing whirls behind him, and he comes out where I’m at.
I help him get soap on his hands and watch as he washes his hands. I even wash mine too. He grins at me as we rinse them together.
“I’ve always liked you, Lennon.”
“No, you didn’t,” he says, and I turn to look at him because I don’t like the way his voice sounds.
“Sure, I did, buddy.”
“You never talked to me before unless others were around and you had to,” he explains, and I feel like shit. I squat downand dry my hand on my thigh, cupping the side of his neck in my hand. “It’s not that I didn’t like you, buddy. Sometimes adults are just really busy and don’t think.”
“Mommy stays really busy, but she always spends time with me and plays too.”