“Did you have fun, honey?”
“Yeah! It was awesome. Jake let me ride Brownie! I rode him all around the ring,” he says, talking about the little pony that Jeff bought for him last year.
“Well, you did have fun then.”
“I did.”
“Good. I laid your pajamas out on the bed. Why don’t you go get changed and brush your teeth and pick out what book you want me to read tonight while I say goodbye to Jake, okay, baby?”
“Okay. Bye, Jake!”
“Bye, buddy.”
I swallow as my son whips around me and takes off running for his room. “No running,” I grumble. He slows down but still mostly ignores me. I force myself to stand up and face Jake.
My mouth feels completely dry. I do my best to calm my nerves.
“Jake…” I manage to get out, but I don't say anything else.
What am I supposed to say?
CHAPTER 7
Jake
When I told Mom I would take Lennon home, I was clearly insane. I thought we could talk about things like two adults. I thought I was calm enough to do that. Seeing Katie makes everything feel raw inside of me again. I know I need to tap it down and handle this like an adult. The only thing that matters now is Lennon, but that’s so fucking hard. I see her and I want to lash out. I look at her and I remember. There’s anger and regret warring with one another inside of me, and I have to choke it down to even get words out.
“I shouldn’t have threatened you before, Katie. That was wrong.”
Fuck those words are hard.
I see surprise light in her eyes. She doesn’t relax. In fact, I’m not sure she truly believes me. I don’t really care.
“Okay,” she hedges, wringing her hands together.
“You look tired.”
She gives out a bitter snort and shakes her head. “That happens when your world is turned upside down.”
“I’m familiar with that myself,” I remind her. She stops talking, and I can see my message made it through.
“Jake—”
“Mommy! I’m ready for my story!”
“Listen, Jake, I need to—”
“I was hoping we could talk. I think there’s some stuff we should go over.”
“Jake, I know you’re upset. I get it. I’m upset, too. The thing is, tomorrow is my last full day with Lennon before school starts, and I really don’t want to spend it fighting with you. I’m going to take him school shopping and for dinner, and I’d rather do that, enjoying being with him, and not pretending I didn’t just have a huge fight with his father.”
“That sounds so strange,” I murmur without thought.
“What does?” Katie asks, her forehead crinkling in that cute way that it always does when she’s confused and preoccupied. I used to joke and tell her it would cause her to have way too many wrinkles when we got old if she didn’t watch it…
And then I would kiss them away.
“Hearing someone say I’m Lennon’s father to my face. It hasn’t happened before. Well, at least in passing.”