“As fun as it would be to fuck you in the barn, I want us both naked, and I want to take my time with you.”
“I don’t want to be in the barn. I want to be somewhere private where your brothers won’t interrupt us, and you can fully let go. Is there anywhere truly private?”
Could I fully let go with him? Did I trust myself?
“Yes. Come on.” There was a cabin on the southern perimeter of the property. I’d had a few of the hands fix it up in the hopes that Blade would agree to move in. It would give him privacy, but I’d know he was safe.
We took one of the ATVs. Having Jacob’s arms wrapped around me had me driving at maximum speed. I needed to show him I loved him and make him believe I would never send him away.
When we reached the cabin, I unlocked the door and made Jacob stay behind me while I did a quick sweep of the place. After the week we’d had, I wasn’t taking any chances.
When I’d verified that the single open room, the loft, and the tiny bathroom were empty, I pulled Jacob inside, slammed the door, and pushed him up against it. He wrapped his legs around me and tried to pull me even closer.
I slipped my hands under his shirt and slid them over his chest. When he whimpered into my mouth, I flicked my thumbs over his nipples.
“Off,” I demanded, pulling his shirt up.
He pushed me away. “Wait.”
I froze. He hadn’t changed his mind, had he? I would let him go if he asked me to, but I wasn’t sure I would ever be okay.
“I love when you take charge.”
That didn’t sound like he was backing out. “I know you do.”
“But I want this to be about me taking care of you.”
“Jacob, I told you—”
“You need comfort as much as I do.
“You had to watch a man die, and I’m asking you to stay where you will likely see that again.”
“I knew what I was getting into. You take on too much. You won’t ask for help. You try to take care of everyone, and if you keep doing that, you’re going to crash.”
“I can handle it.”
“Even if you could—and no one can forever—you don’t have to. Rhys and Rogue are here to help you, and so am I, though I’ll help you in very different ways.”
I couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I don’t think I can do submission.”
“You don’t have to. All you have to do is exactly what you want. This is about you taking what you need. It’s not about me. It’s not about you staying aware enough to make sure we’re safe. It’s not about you making sure it’s the best sex I’ve ever had. It’s about you losing yourself in pleasure.”
“This should absolutely be about you. You can’t tell me you weren’t terrified when Trey attacked you.”
“Of course I was, and I can’t think of anything that would make me feel better than giving you this.”
“That doesn’t—”
“Did you enjoy giving me Daisy?”
“Yes. Seeing you so happy and—”
“Exactly. Did you enjoy making sure I was fucked into total oblivion?”
“Yes.”
“Then let go with me. Let me see you have that same kind of release.”