I touch her hand, tracing the lines on her palm. “I will wait. I can’t be in love with anyone else but you.”
***
Harris stands in front of the class, waiting for the room to quiet down before starting. It’s a big difference from the schools I went to where the teacher would scream their head off until we shut the fuck up. It doesn’t take long for the room to quiet, and she immediately launches into her announcement.
“Great news! The iconic Eastman Kodak is offering an internship to the lucky winner of this year’s state photo contest. It’s open to everyone on campus, but the graphic design department is encouraging all its students to enter.”
“What do we need to do?” asks a guy in the back. “Is there a theme?”
“Yes. The unseen world. Take pictures that illustrate local life in Middleworth that people may not notice. That’s the challenge: to capture something unique about the town that people walk past every day. Depending on the level of interest, we can use class time to review photos.”
Kodak is a big deal, and an internship could lead to a job. It doesn’t take long for us to agree to use class time and discuss our collective strategies for participating in the contest. I glance over at Olivia, and she’s busy taking notes. Her mouth is pinched as she concentrates on her sketch. For a second, the pen stops. Her eyes start to slowly lift, but before she can look, I face forward again.
I wonder if she comprehends the irony in this. Does Olivia even care? If she were decent, she’d squirm in her seat and relive what she did the last summer we spent together.
***
The class is interesting, but it’s also two hours long. I step outside during break to smoke a cigarette. It’s a habit I picked up when I had nothing else to do. The class ends at seven, and the sun has already set. A few purple and orange rays spark across the horizon, but in a few more minutes, everything will be almost black. I prefer the darkness, where I can hide my thoughts from others. If my expression is hidden, it’s easier to conceal my hate.
The door behind me opens, but I don’t bother to look over as I send a stream of smoke out of my lips. Whoever it is, they’re taking their time walking past. I finally glance over, and Olivia is standing at the top of the stairs watching me.
I look at her for a moment, and the fading light barely illuminates her beautiful face. Obviously, she’s upset by the way her hands are clenched into fists. I’d hate me too if I had to put up with me being around.
“You smoke now?” she asks.
I send her a side-eye and then nod my head. “I’ve been smoking for a few years now.”
She comes a little closer. “I want you to stay away from me.”
I toss down my cigarette and crush it under the heel of my Timberlands. “Did you follow me out here to tell me to leave you alone?” I scoff. “Does that even make sense? But nothing you do makes sense, except maybe to you.”
Olivia comes closer and stares into my face. Does she think since we’re out in public it’s safer? She tilts her chin up and looks down her nose at me as if she’s bigger, badder, and tougher. I want to laugh. Olivia edges closer and reaches out, slipping the cigarette out of my hand. She takes a drag off it.
I shake my head. “You really are a hypocrite.”
“I only smoke when I’m upset.” She steps out of reach. “Why did you grab me at the party?”
“You need to ask?” I ask, genuinely confused. “I want you to understand that if I want to hurt you, I can, without remorse. It’s my choice, and it will always be my choice.”
She stares straight ahead. “Are you coming after everyone you knew in your past? What have I done wrong?”
The question makes me start, and I stare at her under the safety lights shining down from the rooftop. I don’t respond, and eventually, her gaze meets mine. The pull between us is still as strong as it had been when we were teens. Well, she still is. She glances down at my lips and then back into my eyes. The spark is still there, burning.
I reach for Olivia, pull her into me, and my lips lock onto hers. I taste her again, and the memories are renewed in my mind. The images that had become a haze gain focus as the feel of her takes me back. Her arms are tense, but gradually, she holds onto me, clutching my denim jacket in her fists. Time slips backward, and I swear I can smell the scent of water and sunshine mixed in her hair. It’s the same scent I smelled as she lay on the pier under the sun.
My grip on her eases, but Olivia doesn’t push me away. Instead, she pulls me closer, and for a moment, I forget how much I hate her as she leans into me. This is how we should have ended up, not this messed-up version of ourselves that we somehow became. My lips part, and her tongue touches mine. She lets out a breathy sigh between our mouths.
I want to forget the past that tore me down and reshaped me into some monster that I don’t even recognize. But I didn’t come here to find her for a kiss. My body ignores my inner turmoil and takes its directions from my heart as my hands slide down to her hips. I tug her roughly against my stiff bulge, and she squirms against my hips. I should take her now, the way I should’ve long ago.
“I missed you,” she whispers, “when you left.”
And with that, the spell breaks as if her fingers snapped in my face, waking me from a trance. I pull back and glare into her confused face.
“If you want me to stay away from you, then stop being a cocktease.” My voice is colder than the night air. She stares at me in shock as I take off up the stairs and head back toward class without her.
Chapter Eight
Olivia