A scream jolts out of my throat and I almost pee myself at the sound of someone pounding on my front door.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
I scramble out of the chair and yank Axel’s hoodie on, zipping it up as I hurry down the hall to the front door.
There’s a split second where I think it might be Axel himself on the other side, slamming his fist against the wood, wanting back into my home and into my bed. But reality quickly whispers in my ear. He wouldn’t have left if he was just going to come back. He snuck out in the middle of the night because he didn’t want to stay. He left because he wasn’t interested.
Pain blossoms in my chest and I shove my hand against the spot that aches. But it doesn’t help. All I feel is the cool metal of the zipper pressing into my skin.
Another knock sounds when I’m just a step away.
“Coming!” I try to call out, but my voice cracks.
“Maddie, open up!”
I recognize my best friend’s voice, only instead of making me smile, I feel my eyes fill with more tears.
More knocking.
Knowing I can’t put this off any longer, I unlock the handle and pull the door open.
“Finally!” Elouise drops her hand, poised for another round of banging on my door. “You can’t send me all those texts about some random guy driving you home and then not…” Her words trail off as her eyes widen in horror, darting all over my body. “Oh my god!” She steps inside and swings the door shut behind her. “Maddie, are you okay? Did he hurt you?!”
“W-what?” I look down to see what has her so worried. But all I can see is Axel’s 3XL black zip-up. “I’m-” I stop.
Zipped up, Axel’s shirt covers me from knees to neck, obscuring the pajamas I’m wearing underneath. And I haven’t looked in a mirror yet, but I can only imagine what my previously straight but now frizzy hair looks like. My fingers reach up and brush against my cheek, remembering that I didn’t take my makeup off last night – not wanting to scare him away with a completely bare face – so I’m sure my mascara is a mess.
On top of that, my fingertips come away damp, and I remember I’m crying.
I’m crying because I’m a big giant baby who doesn’t know how to make a man stay with her. And who also doesn’t handle rejection well. Two things that don’t go well together.
“Maddie?” Elouise’s voice is cautious. “Will you tell me what happened?”
“I’m fine.” I shake my head, “I promise it’s nothing bad. Not like what you’re thinking.”
“But you’re crying!” her tone is back to near hysterical, and it makes my mood feel just a little bit lighter.
I lift a shoulder and give her a small smile, “I’m just having a bit of a pity party. You’re welcome to join in the festivities if you want.”
Elouise narrows her eyes at me, “You sure?”
My head nods, “I’ll tell you everything.” I shift my weight. “But Ineedto pee.”
She snorts and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Go pee. But you’re making coffee to pay me back for scaring me half to death.”
“That’s fair,” I keep my sniffles quiet as I turn and hurry to the bathroom.
Door firmly closed behind me, I flip on the light and cringe at my reflection because it’s even worse than I’d imagined.
With a groan, I turn away from the mirror and hurry to relieve myself. And sitting there, with my silky shorts around my ankles, I accept that I may be overreacting.
As I stand, I also accept that I need out of these pj’s. The top is probably fine, but the shorts… well those aren’t fine.
Moving as quickly as my achy and hungover body will allow, I strip down to nothing, scrub my face, brush my teeth and wrangle my frizzed-out hair into a messy top knot.
Digging through the clothes hamper in the corner, I find a pair of sweatpants. And if memory serves, they’re basically clean so I tug them on.
Standing topless, I stare at my discarded tank top but can’t get myself to put it back on. Instead, my eyes trail over to Axel’s hoodie, where I left it balled up on the vanity.