Secretly impressed he was so intuitive, she said, ‘You sure you’d rather talk? Because we could be having a lot more fun doing other stuff.’
‘Sweetheart, I’m the king of deflecting so I know when it’s happening.’
For a second, Karly considered saying ‘to hell with it’ and getting out of bed on the pretext of grabbing a glass of water. But she’d never had a guy want to talk like this after sex. Ever. That’s the thing about casual hook-ups. They were fine for a little quick fun but they never formed bonds, which had suited her. But this cosiness, and Hudson’s ability to read her, had got under her skin, so she forced herself to relax.
‘You’re right, I am trying to distract you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not used to this.’ She waved her free hand in the small gap between their bodies. ‘This closeness.’
In the dim light cast from the lone candle’s flickering flame on the bedside table, she saw his eyes widen slightly. ‘I’m not sure what that means.’
This was what happened when you started talking to a guy—you had to reveal too much—but she’d started down this track; she couldn’t turn tail and run now. ‘I’ve never had a relationship. Ever. All the guys I’ve been with have been short term.’
‘One-night stands?’
‘Yeah.’ She screwed up her nose. ‘That doesn’t make me sound too good, but they’re few and far between.’
‘I’m not judging you.’ To prove it, he drew her hand towards his lips before pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it. ‘But you’re so incredible I can’t believe no guy has been smart enough to date you for more than a night.’
‘Isn’t that what you’re doing?’ she blurted, instantly regretting it when he recoiled as if she’d shoved him away.
‘When I said I like you, I meant it.’ She couldn’t stifle a soft sigh when he lowered her hand from his lips to his chest and pressed it over his heart. ‘I don’t do long-term relationships either. I prefer entanglement-free. But that’s why I clarified earlier what tonight would be between us, because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m out of here in a few days and I don’t do long distance.’
He made perfect sense. So why did her chest ache a little?
‘Me either. But you asked what I was thinking, and I told you.’
‘Fair enough.’ His gaze bored into her, as if he was trying to see all the way down to her soul. ‘But for what it’s worth, tonight has been amazing and I wouldn’t mind if we stayed in touch after I left.’
She knew what ‘stayed in touch’ meant. Casual hook-ups if she made it to Melbourne for a weekend here or there. When the sex was this good and the guy was this great, it sounded like a golden opportunity.
So why did it leave her feeling hollow?
CHAPTER
28
By the time they got back to her place, Heidi still hadn’t made up her mind about whether to foster this burgeoning relationship with Jem or not. She’d wasted enough time over the years in a staid marriage with barely a flicker of passion, let alone a spark, which was ironic, considering she now had the spark but not the long-term commitment.
Connecting with Jem on a deeper level gave her hope for a future very different from her past. The way he’d opened up about losing his son and moving here for Karly had made her want to fling her arms around him. His sincerity had got to her, how he’d articulated his feelings and, ultimately, she knew that’s what she found the most attractive.
Bert had been a simple man: give him three meals a day, a beer at the end of eight hours of solid work, the footy on TV, and he’d been happy. He’d loved her in his own way, but they’d never had the kind of bond that invites deep confidences, so Jem opening up to her when they barely knew each other? Heady stuff.
‘You okay?’ Jem touched her arm and only then did she realise he’d pulled up in her driveway.
He’d left the engine running, which meant one of two things: he couldn’t wait to drop her off and get the hell out of here or, being a gentleman, he was leaving it up to her to invite him in or not. Pity she still had no clue if she wanted to.
‘Yeah, I’m fine.’
‘Sure?’ He reached out to cup her cheek with his hand and she sighed, leaning into it, savouring the warmth. ‘I had a lovely evening.’
‘Me too,’ she murmured, silently chastising herself for being so damn indecisive at her age.
The smart thing to do, the logical thing to do, would be to straighten and bid him good night. But she’d spent a lifetime doing the right thing so she turned her face slightly to press a kiss into the palm of his hand. Thankfully, he didn’t snatch it away, but he stared at her, puzzlement accentuating the wrinkles on his brow.
When he didn’t say anything, she eased away, disappointment warring with embarrassment. Why did she keep reading the signals wrong with this man?