With a frustrated huff, she pushed against his shoulder with the back of her hand. “At least listen to me.”
He nuzzled below her ear and mumbled into her neck. “I’m listening.”
“We’re only a few days away from the Pole. We have enough food for the dogs and us for five days. All we’d have to do is set up the dog bag, maybe add a sleeping bag inside for extra warmth, and I can ride in the sled.” Her words rushed out like she was anxious to get the conversation over with.
“You’ll freeze.”
“Not necessarily. Not if we do it right.”
He did growl this time and pressed his face into her neck. Did he want to risk her getting more injured? She’d be exposed in the sled. Not being able to move and run between the runners when she got cold could let frostbite settle in. Or worse. With her wrapped like a burrito in the bag, if the sled wrecked or fell through another crevice, could she get out?
“Jules.”
“Don’t answer now.” She placed her hands on both sides of his face, forcing him to look at her.
The stark white bandages were just a reminder of how close she’d come to dying.
How he hadn’t been able to keep her safe.
How he constantly broke his childhood promise to her to always be there when she needed him.
Constantly picked the coward’s way out when it came to her.
“We won’t be able to move until this storm passes, anyway.” Her gaze bounced left and right like she searched his expression for some hope.
He narrowed his eyes at her. She wanted reassurance that they’d go on, but he couldn’t give it. Not with the fear from earlier, the fear of what might wait ahead, still clawing his insides to shreds. If he didn’t make the right decision and keep her safe in the mess the expedition had become, how could he ever have the courage to trust himself with her and their future?