She went into her room, and I heard the shower begin to run. I stared at the closed door. I didn’t know why, but her answer about the kiss made me even emptier and more alone than before.
13
Cazzie
I didn’t know why, but Luke’s forgiveness made me even more uncomfortable than before. For some reason, it felt worse than his anger. Maybe it was because he had segued it directly into the mall kiss, with that same patient, lecturing tone.
I knew what he was going to say. The kiss was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened. And because I couldn’t bear to hear him say the words, I quickly said them instead.
My own emotions had been a bundle of confusion these past few days. The kiss was good. No, that was underselling it: the kiss wasincredible. It was the kind of kiss that rewired my brain and made me look at Luke in a totally different light. Before, he was the man I was assigned to protect, who also happened to be attractive and charming. Now, he was someone I couldn’t stop thinking about.
Why did I have to lie to him?I wondered while letting the shower water run over my body, washing away my guilt.Why couldn’t I have told him the truth? What would things be like between us if I had?
I shook off the thought. This was a temporary assignment. Eventually, the team would stop paying me to protect Luke August. Even if Luke and I had chemistry—which we definitely did—it could never turn into something long-term. Not to mention hooking up with the guy I was assigned to was pretty much the kiss of death for a bodyguard. There were plenty of dudes who hooked up with their attractive female clients, and it usually ended poorly for them. I didn’t want that reputation.
Not to mention Luke was almost a decade younger than me. I didn’t date 22-year-olds.
The tall football player was in a brooding mood for the next two days, although he tried to cover it up with friendly chit chat. But I knew Luke by now, and I could tell something was bothering him. Was it the point about his mothers, and how he was upset that I would use sexual orientation as a shield? It felt deeper than that. Whatever the reason, after the embarrassment of the kiss—the sexy, wonderful, toe-curling kiss—I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.
The Stallions won again on Sunday against the 49ers, 24 - 7. Luke only had three receptions, but that seemed to have more to do with the San Francisco defense rather than a poor performance from the wide receiver. After the game, Luke went to the bar with his teammates to celebrate. And rather than drink a polite beer or two before making his exit, he stayed for three hours and helped put away two pitchers of beer by himself.
“I’m getting the swing of things,” he said on the Uber ride home, slurring his words just a little bit. “This football thing is easy. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Not this game. Maxwell was all over me on my routes. He’s really good. But in general. I’m getting itdown. All I have to do is run, and catch the ball, and run some more.”
“That seems like an over-simplification,” I said with a chuckle, “but yeah. You basically just run and catch the ball.”
After I helped Luke up to his apartment and made him gulp down a glass of water, I went on my usual security rounds. Checking the balcony. Walking a circle around the complex, including checking the parking garage. It was overkill for a personal assignment like this, but it made me feel a little bit safer. They had attacked him here at the apartment once already, so they might do it again.
When I returned to his apartment, I found him standing outside on the balcony. I was about to join him when he suddenly roared with laughter. The edge of Lexi came into view on the balcony next door. She reached across and laid a hand on his arm and laughed with him.
The sight ignited a strange flare of jealousy inside me. What was she doing flirting with him tonight, when he was borderline drunk? I resisted the urge to retrieve him from the balcony, and instead began cleaning the espresso machine in the kitchen.
Luke came back inside five minutes later. “You two have fun out there?” I asked without looking over at him.
“I guess,” he replied, appearing next to me to refill his water glass from the fridge dispenser. “Hey. You want to get sushi tomorrow night? There’s a place down by the college that Brody recommended.”
Is he asking me out?Luke never asked what I wanted ahead of time. He told me what he was in the mood to eat, and I either ordered something along with him, or I got food from somewhere else. Asking my permission felt… different. More formal.
“Sure,” I said casually. “Although I have to warn you, my standards are pretty high. Los Angeles had some great sushi joints.”
“I knew you’d be a sushi snob,” he said with a crooked grin.
I laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling. My mind raced. Luke’s invitation was all I could think about. Had he truly forgiven me for lying to him? Did he enjoy the kiss more than I thought? Did he crave the taste of my lips the way I craved his?
After being unable to fall asleep for half an hour, I slowly slid my fingers down between my legs. The image of Luke’s body leaped into my head, sweat glistening on his skin. I wasn’t sure why, but the bulges of his shoulder muscles were the sexiest part of him, especially the way they pressed against his T-shirt. Then Luke was smiling at me, which made his already-gorgeous face somehow even sexier.
Then I was remembering the kiss in the bathroom. The way his arms pulled around me, holding me like I belonged to him. My entire body surrendered to him and I leaned into the kiss. I would have done anything for him in that moment, I knew. I allowed my imagination to drift, and suddenly Luke was bending me over the bathroom sink and tearing my pants off, revealing my wet sex. He plunged inside me without hesitation, filling me in one long stroke.
Within seconds, I was gasping and squirming in bed as I came. After that it was easy to fall asleep, and thoughts of Luke August occupied my dreams until morning.
I was in a wonderful mood all day, and Luke seemed to be just as excited. Even though it was a rest day, Luke insisted on going to the practice facility to work out. Rather than his normal five-mile run, Luke did eight and then claimed he could have run for another hour. He was all smiles, and his mood was infectious to me and the other guys who were exercising on the off-day.
“I’m excited about tonight,” Luke told me on the way back from the practice facility. “I haven’t gone on a date in a while.”
There it is. It’s officially a date. I bit my lip and hoped I wasn’t blushing. “Me, too. What should I wear?”
“Something other than your suit,” Luke said. “You should let loose. Wear something nicer. Did you bring any dresses to Salt Lake City?”
“I wear a suit because it gives me a normal range of motion,” I explained. “It’s tough to chase down somebody while wearing heels.”