This is really happening.
I ran my hands over his arms and shoulders while we made out in the seclusion of the garage, feeling the lines of hard muscle underneath the tan skin. His breath quickened and he pushed into me with desire, allowing me to feel a new kind of heat in his swim trunks. My body tingled with realization that he was hard for me, that the thing I felt pressing against me was his dick, and in that instant I ached to feel him inside of me.
I want you, Hunter Cade,I thought while surrendering to the torrid waves of arousal.I want you now.
Before I could speak the words into life, Hunter ripped his lips away from mine.
“We can’t,” he growled, as much to himself as to me. “We can’t do this, Erica.”
It felt like I had been doused in cold water. “I don’t care that you’re my brother’s best friend. All I want…”
“It’s more than that,” he insisted. He took a step back, and the place between my legs ached from his absence. “I’m living with your family. If they find out…”
“But you’re moving out soon!” I said hopefully. “You said you’re getting your own place over on Lancaster. Right?”
Hunter ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. “If I move out and then we… It would seem like we were doing it while I lived here. I can’t do that to your parents, or to Brad.”
“But…” My mind reached for an excuse, any at all. “Nobody has to know, then. We don’t have to tell anyone!”
“Erica…”
“I have feelings for you,” I said. “And if you have feelings for me…”
Hunter hesitated a moment, deep in thought. I honestly thought he was going to give in and take me there on the hood of the car. He wanted to do it: I could see it in his eyes.
But then a resolve fell over his gaze like an iron curtain. “I don’t have feelings for you.”
Icy fingers surrounded my heart. “What? But you just said…”
“You misunderstood me,” he said. “I’m attracted to youphysically. That’s it.”
No, no, no, I thought.Why is he saying this?
“I want tofuckyou,” he said, biting off every word. “I don’t want a relationship.”
I slid off the hood of the car and jabbed a finger in his chest. “You’re lying.”
He turned away and grabbed the two cans of Sprite. “You’re kidding yourself, Erica.” His voice was cold and I couldn’t see his face. “You’re Brad’s little sister. I’ve known you since you were riding a bike with training wheels around in the driveway. I’m a graduate. Why would I date ahigh schoolerwhen I can be with Katie, or Priscilla, or Jessica, or any otherrealwoman?”
Every word was like a dagger to my gut, deflating me until I could barely stand. By the time he finished speaking, I felt numb all over.
Without looking back at me, Hunter took the Sprites and left the garage.
13
Erica
It took me several minutes to compose myself enough to go back out to the cookout. Nobody seemed to notice that I had been gone several minutes, and had forgotten the plates mom had sent me to retrieve.
Hunter sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the pool, turned away from the rest of the group like he was sun-bathing.
Lance seemed to take the hint that I wasn’t into him, and he left the party soon after. Katie left with all the other guests, and when it came time to clean up, Hunter said he wasn’t feeling good and went straight to his room.
“He should have waited forty-five minutes after eating before horsing around in the pool,” my mom said.
After cleaning up the back patio, I went upstairs. Hunter’s door was closed. I wanted to go inside and talk to him, to see if he really meant what he said about me being just ahigh schooler. I wanted to continue our garage argument and demand that he tell me the truth. And I really,reallywanted to kiss him some more.
But I was too much of a coward, so I went into my room and turned on some music.