I frowned as I stared at the base of the sink. “Volleyball? No.”
“Didn’t you enjoy that pottery class?”
“Yeah, it was a one-semester art elective, but it was fun.”
“But you didn’t become a potter.”
I couldn’t see myself at one of those spinning wheels to make bowls and pots. Unless Patrick Swayze was behind me. Then I thought of Kennedy andhisarms around me.
“No.”
“I liked science. I studied Biology, but I was happy to leave it behind. I had you kids. We saw the world from one base to the next.”
“We all left, Mom. Got jobs and careers far away.”
“Of course, you did. You know why you all did that?”
“Why?” I wondered.
“Because I did such a good job.”
I had to smile because she was right.
“Otherwise, you’d be living in my basement being a troll on social media. I’m sure you can see Trent in his boxers with a bowl of Chex mix downstairs at a computer with a headset.”
I couldn’t help but laugh picturing my oldest brother with even a hair out of place, let alone eating cereal from his lap.
“I guess it’s a good thing you did a good job then,” I replied.
“What’s this all about?”
I wasn’t telling her about the baby. It was too early, and I didn’t have my head on straight about it.
“Seeing you yesterday had me curious, that’s all.”
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. You had so many things you could do, but going into the Navy had to be the toughest. Yet you made your mark, in your own special way, then moved on. It sounds like you have a good team where you are. Work that you like. But find balance–make room in your life for that man of yours. Make room for love.”
I pressed my lips together to hold back a sob.
It was too late–I’d already given love the middle finger.
My mom went on, oblivious to my despair. “Women can have it all. A job. Not a job. Kids. No kids. Or both. A job and kids. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can haveeverythingif you balance it right.”
“Yep,” I managed to say, swiping at the tears with the back of my hand. “I’d better go. I love you, Mom.” I ended the call before she caught onto the fact that I was crying.
Oh God. Maybe I made a huge mistake with Kennedy. With my life. I was making it all or nothing.
What if there could be balance?
* * *
An hour later,I finally felt good enough to scrape myself off my bathroom floor. I showered, then went in search of food, hoping to avoid the team. Mrs. L was in her kitchen when I came through the screen door. She was peeling potatoes over the sink.
The men were nowhere to be seen, and I didn’t hear any voices coming from the command room. I peeked around the corner to make sure Kennedy wasn’t in there with his headphones on.
“They’re at the barn looking over the latest contractor work. I’d say you’ll all be into your new space by the end of the month. And I’ll get my sewing room back.”
“Do you even like to sew?” I asked. I hadn’t seen her once pick up a needle and thread although I had only been here a short time. And her room had been invaded.