Well, to be fair, I thought I had it taken care of. How was I to know Kennedy had super strong swimmers? Of course he did, the caveman.
He was lucky he didn’t already have a dozen babies with the way he got around before me if his super sperm could bypass the most foolproof of birth control methods.
This was unbelievable. How ironic. Just when I thought I’d achieved the unattainable–reformed a player into wanting something more, wanting something committed and ongoing, being a real boyfriend–I did the one thing that was a deal breaker for him.
Got pregnant. Who’d want to bring up a child with our fucked up parents as examples? I only knew what Kennedy had mentioned about his family, but he was a pawn, a PR fixture for his father’s political career and nothing more. And he damn sure wasn’t having PR progeny.
Kennedy was a stand-up guy, and he wouldn’t bail or shirk his responsibilities.
But I wanted to be with him as an equal, not aresponsibility.
He didn’t want this. Point blank.
I didn’t want to be the person he resented for turning his entire life upside down. It was enough that my own life was just blown up like detonated C4.
I didn’t need to make him give up his freedom and future along with me.
I curled up on my bed, exhausted from the long day. Probably just exhausted from the drain of making a baby.
Well, I’d never shirked my duty. Not once. I was a world-class helicopter pilot in excellent shape. I was going to ace this pregnancy and parenting thing, too.
Not here though. It wasn’t going to happen at Alpha Mountain. Nor in Sparks.
I’d have to leave because as soon as the guys learned the truth, I’d be grounded and not allowed on missions even to carry bags. Hell, I’d never lift anything again.
Which meant I was useless.
I needed… something different. I sat up on the bed. Yes. That was exactly how I’d make a smooth exit out of this position. I’d tell Kennedy and Ford and the rest of the team that I’d had an offer for another job that I couldn’t refuse.
Better pay. More benefits. Something.
I didn’t want to make Ford think he had to offer me more, so it would have to be something he couldn’t provide. Like…
Proximity to my parents.
Actually, that idea wasn’t half bad, either. Hadn’t my mom just asked for grandbabies? I could definitely use her help and support with this single parenting thing.
Only Dad would see me as just what he’d thought I’d be all along. A woman, and that was my biggest flaw.
I’d deal with him because I’d rather deal with him than Kennedy either hating me or resenting me while he did his duty to his child. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
The trick would just be to get out of here without raising suspicion. Mrs. L might have guessed although I’d lied at the store and told her the test was negative. Thankfully, she hadn’t said anything on the ride from town or since. I hadn’t been able to stomach hashing it through with her–my brain had been exploding with the ramifications.
It still was.
I could say my dad, after my visit, hooked me up with a cush position, and I was moving back to San Diego. I would stay just to complete this weekend’s job because it turned out a helicopter was crucial to the op, but then I’d leave immediately afterward.
It would be hard for anyone to argue with my plan especially if I acted happy about it.
Kennedy might be hard to fool. He knew I wasn’t that close with my dad, especially after the night before and seeing him in person. Maybe I’d tell him I was doing it for my mom. He’d believe that. Maybe.
I’d just have to break things off with the old, “it’s me, not you” thing. We’d only had sex a few times since I found out he wasn’t actually a player and had wanted me. And only me.
Fuck.
A knock sounded on the door, and my stomach lurched a little. It had to be Kennedy.
I stood and opened the door. “Hey.”