“You were engaged up until a week ago. It’s been a long time since there was anyone in my life worth discussing.”
The wedding picture in Van’s office came back to me.
Asking him again if he was married was on the tip of my tongue.
Then again, I wasn’t certain that at the moment I was prepared for the answer or the discussion that could ensue. “Skylar isn’t worth discussing either,” I said instead of voicing my question. “That’s the point. Everything between the two of us since we were young felt like we did it because we should. You know how that first kiss is supposed to be special and make butterflies fly around your stomach?”
“Again, it’s been a while. I will say I felt that and more the first time we kissed.”
“The first time I’ve ever felt that way was with you,” I admitted. “With him—kissing, petting, and later when it was more—we did it because we should. It wasn’t that either of us had a burning desire.”
The green in Van’s eyes shimmered. “I have a burning desire.”
Smiling and nodding, I replied, “So do I, Van. Red sin.”
“I’ll come check on you before I go to bed. If you want me to stay here, I will.”
“It’s your house.”
“Yours too. I would like nothing more than for you to refer to here as home.”
Following our kiss, Van left to do whatever he needed to do. After readying for bed, I slipped into a satin camisole and shorts and crawled into the big bed. There were a million questions and even more thoughts that should have kept me awake, but after my discussion with my parents, the only persistent feeling was exhaustion.
It took all my energy to slide under the layers of blankets. My eyes closed and the world faded away the moment I settled. At some point in the middle of the dark night, warmth radiated from another body. The room softly rattled with the sound of steady breathing.
He’d come back, not for sex but to cuddle.
Van’s presence gave me more than the ability to be close. It brought to life what his earlier words had said. Being near him like this filled me with a warm glow of peace, a sense of being home, and hope that together Van and I could make it through the unknowns, finding the place where we both belonged.
Curling my body next to his, I closed my eyes and drew from his strength.
Van had the ability to buy or sell or to save or destroy without concerns regarding the thoughts of others. While I didn’t want to be unfeeling, I sought to learn from him. Opening myself up and doing as I was expected left me emotionally hurt. I didn’t desire to hurt in return; I wanted to move forward. Van seemed capable of anything he set his mind to. Somewhere between falling asleep and waking, I wrapped my arm over his firm torso and vowed to learn more about this man as I learned more about me and what I was capable of becoming.
Julia
At nearly nine in the morning, I stood near the tall windows in the living room, gazing out over the bay, holding tightly to the warm mug filled with coffee. In Chicago we had Lake Michigan, but most of the views I’d ever seen included the tall buildings of the city. Here from Van’s home I was enthralled by the natural beauty. No other structure could be seen, making the snow-blanketed view unspoiled. Wearing the camisole and shorts I’d worn to bed and the long robe, I familiarized myself more and more with Van’s home. I could now make my way around the first level without taking a wrong turn.
An hour later, fresh from my shower as I opened the door to Van’s office, it was on purpose.
My eyes went immediately to the table behind his desk.
The picture I’d seen yesterday was gone.
My pulse kicked up a notch as I turned all the way around, looking for the photograph somewhere else.
There were no other personal pictures to be seen in any other location. They were only located on the one table. I hadn’t really looked at the other photos yesterday—I’d been too shocked by the one of Van in a tuxedo with a woman in a wedding dress. Now as I looked at each picture, I wondered if I’d imagined that one photo.
I hadn’t.
I knew I hadn’t.
Where did it go?
One by one, I lifted each of the other frames. There was a small aged photo, the kind that appeared to be sepia versus black and white, in a round frame. I could only surmise that these people were special to Van, perhaps his grandparents. There was another photo of a blond woman. She was pretty with striking green eyes.
Is she the woman in the other picture?
I couldn’t be certain.