“For what?”
“I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt, Julia. I’m here if you want to vent or lament. I didn’t hurt you, and I never want to be someone who does, but just because you’re away from your family and friends, know that I’m here. You’re not alone. You never will be.”
An unexpected tear rolled down my cheek.
Van wiped it away with his thumb. “Seeing you cry breaks my fucking heart. I won’t lie; it also makes me want to ruin him and his entire family.”
“He has a baby to support. Ruining him would hurt an innocent child.”
Van turned toward the window, staring out toward the frozen bay. His jaw was set and his expression hard to read. I didn’t know if he was thinking about what he could do to hurt Skylar or if his thoughts were about something else light-years away.
Before I could ask, he wrapped his arm around me.
Instead of the silence that settled around us feeling awkward, it was comforting as I laid my head back on his shoulder. The t-shirt against my cheek was soft, and his shoulder beneath was hard, the perfect pillow. “I don’t need to celebrate the holidays.”
It was as if my words brought Van back from his thoughts. “I have to go into the office tomorrow morning. It’s Saturday and Christmas Eve. Half the exchanges will be closed before I arrive. It doesn’t matter how much of a workaholic I am, I can’t conduct business when everyone else around the world is unreachable.” He kissed the top of my head. “That means that I’ll be back a little after noon. Unless...”
“Unless what?”
“You can come into Ashland with me. You can walk around the city, get coffee, go to the bakery, and get out of the house.”
“I don’t want to.” I turned to him. “Margaret said I looked familiar. After I talked to my dad, I realized why. Pictures of Skylar and me have been blasted all over the business news outlets—cable networks and social media. The news of our canceled wedding was the cause of the first dip in the value of Wade. Wade’s PR tried to counter it with fake news of us working out our problems.”
“I saw your pictures.” He grinned. “Even though I was in town, I was most certain the reports of the two of you on a Caribbean Island were exaggerated.”
It was my turn to look out the window; beyond the darkness was the settled snow globe. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t the Caribbean.”
“And I’m not him.”
“You’re not.” Inhaling, I let out a long sigh. “I liked Ashland when I stayed there, but I don’t want to go into town and have anyone recognize me.”
“Their opinions don’t count.”
“I’m not ready.”
“You could turn in your rental car. I have more than a few vehicles here safer than that car, ones you may drive if you want to go somewhere.”
“I have a car at home.” I looked up at him. “I rented one for this interview in hopes of making it more difficult to be followed.” I sighed. “Have you ever felt like you don’t belong anywhere, like you’re lost?”
“You’re not lost, Julia. You’re home. If you don’t want to go back to Chicago to pack your belongings, I’ll have your things shipped here. You decide what will work best for you. No one else matters.”
A yawn snuck up on me.
“You’re tired.”
I nodded.
Van stood and took my hand, helping me stand. “I have a few things I need to arrange. I can let you sleep undisturbed or...” A small smile curled his lips. “...I can come back and cuddle.”
That made me smile too. “You just agreed to cuddle.”
“I did.”
“I am tired. There’s been a lot happening.” I lifted my brow as my eyes widened. “And a lot of sex.”
“You can always say no.”
“I don’t want to say no. I feel like you’ve opened up a part of life that until recently I’d only heard about, a secret society where sex isn’t merely an obligation but something that’s enjoyed and anticipated. When Skylar and I would...” I paused and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about him so much. You don’t talk about other women.”