Though my neck straightened, I didn’t turn but instead remained forward, much like the night at the restaurant.
“I believe,” Rett said, “I told you that I’d kill you myself before I allowed Kyle to take your life.” His hands came to my shoulders, caressing with his powerful fingers. “Your behavior today almost robbed me of the ability to fulfill that promise.” His fingers moved up, walking like a tiny army, under my long hair and around my neck, yet there was no pressure. Moving my hair to the side, he leaned forward, his next question bringing warm breath to my sensitive skin. “Come, Emma, do you think I’m happy about that?”
“No,” I said resolutely. “I know you’re not.”
“Do you think that when I saw you, the woman who was born to be my wife, naked and tied to a chair, that the only people I thought to kill were the two ignorant assholes who made a deadly mistake by touching you?”
Beneath the robe, my skin chilled.
Rett’s fingers moved higher up my throat, lifting my chin. “You are a queen, and the way they had you positioned...” He brought my chin higher. “For longer than I care to admit, I considered firing three bullets.”
“But—”
He pushed my mandible higher, stopping my rebuttal. “I did, Emma. I’m not a good man. You may be an angel, but I’m the devil. Never forget that. You almost lost your life today, yes from Kyle, but more interestingly, at my hands.” His grip was still present like a heavy collar.
His positioning wasn’t the threat of impending violence; it was the reminder that violence was a possibility.
Releasing my neck, Rett spun my chair toward him. No longer standing, he crouched in front of me. Without the gentleness he’d shown earlier, he flipped back my robe and spread my knees. “This pussy was on fucking display.”
Keeping my neck straight, I gave him no resistance.
He spread my legs wider. “Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
“Rett—”
“No.” His grip of my knees tightened as his volume rose. The one word reverberated through the new suite. His chest heaved with rapid breaths.
Keeping my head high, a tear slid down my cheek, but I didn’t respond.
Rett leaned back on his haunches and released my knees.
I scrambled to bring my legs together and cover myself with the robe.
“Fuck,” he mumbled as he ran his hand over his face.
In that instant, his expression changed. If I was to describe it, I’d say remorse supplanted rage.
As he stood, I reached for one of his hands and held it between both of mine. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“I fucking wanted to, Emma.”
Swallowing and pushing past the sore muscles, I stood and met him chest to chest. “You’ve been nice because the alternative was...” I tried to find the right word.
“The alternative was taking your life.” Rett brought his palm to my bruised cheek as his head shook. “I don’t fucking know what to do with you.”
Inclining my face toward his touch, I nodded. “I won’t apologize again for what I did, but I will tell you that I learned many things today. One” —I laid my hand over his soft blue t-shirt— “is fear. Today, waking in that chair, in that position, and realizing I was naked” —my stomach twisted— “and hearing those men talk about me as if I weren’t a person, as if I were an object, and the uncertainty of what would happen next...”
He lowered his hand and exhaled. “Emma, you don’t—”
“Thatwas fear, Rett.” Speaking my feelings was liberating. “It was fear like I’ve never known. I thought I knew what it was like to be scared. I didn’t. Today didn’t compare. I remember being fearful of the unknown when my family died and I was left on my own, but I had people and friends in Pittsburgh. Today, or yesterday, I was alone as I’ve never before experienced. And I was vulnerable.” The small hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “I didn’t like it. I was terrified. I was frightened they’d kill me, and I was more afraid they wouldn’t.
“You asked what seeing me in that position did to you. Let me tell you what it did to me.” I took a step back. “It humiliated me. It reduced me to someone...less.” Each phrase was uttered without hesitation. The conviction in my voice grew stronger. Only the new tears showed my weakness. “It dehumanized me. If you had taken that opportunity to fulfill your promise, to be the one to take my life....” I shook my head and crossed my arms over my breasts. “I would have died with those as my last thoughts. Or maybe it would have been a blessing, and I wouldn’t have to live with the memories.”
I lifted my chin and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “So I won’t be thanking you again for saving me. The more I consider it, the less I’m convinced I have reason to be grateful.”
Focusing on each tender step, I walked around him and reached for the chair to resume eating whatever my stomach could handle. Before I sat, Rett seized my arm and spun me toward him. Before I could process, I was backed against the window, the Ramses crest a story below filling my peripheral vision with colors. Rett’s hands were on my ass, pulling my hips toward him. His face was inches from mine.
“I’m fucking grateful,” he said. “I don’t want you dead, Emma.”