Because the fucking look in her eyes? It gutted me. She was seeing the future she’d planned out with me fracturing and breaking apart piece by piece.
But this would never change my mind about her. Kids or no kids, she was mine.
“Kids?” Reina asked.
Dr. Leslie frowned. “I don’t want to be the bearer of even more bad news, but unfortunately, children will be a miracle for you.”
My heart clenched in my chest at the devastated look in Reina’s eyes.
Dr. Leslie opened her mouth to continue, but Reina put up her hand. “I’ve heard enough,” she whispered. “I just . . . I want to go home,” Reina said, looking at me. There was so much pain in her eyes. It was fucking killing me. “Please take me home, Sam.”
I nodded once and stood up, helping her down from the cot. The doctor handed me her paperwork, and I silently led Reina from the room, heading towards the checkout desk. She stood silently at my side as I got her signed out and paid her bill. And God, the amount of that bill just to be told there was no helping her—it fucking pissed me off.
Reina stopped me from straddling my bike with her soft hand on my arm. I looked down at her, my helmet held loosely in my grip.
She swallowed thickly, her eyes running over my features. “If you want to go, Sam, I won’t hold you back,” she told me quietly.
I set my helmet down on the handlebars, my brows furrowing. “Go?” I snapped at her. I hadn’t intended to speak to her like that, but goddammit, she was trying to push me away! “The fuck are you on about, Reina?”
Tears welled in her eyes. Her soft lips trembled. “Don’t you want a woman that can give you kids, Sam?”
Fucking crazy woman.
She really thought I was going to leave her over something like this? If we wanted kids, we could fucking adopt. Hell, this club was getting handed down to Axel when he reached the right age, and he was adopted.
Blood didn’t fucking matter to me—never had. All that mattered to me was family, and my family wasn’t blood-related. My family was this club, was Reina.
I gripped her chin. “Listen to me because I’m only saying this once,” I told her. She sniffled, nodding her head all while a tear ran unbidden down her cheek. That tear made me want to destroy something. “You’remine‘til death do us part, sweet girl, with or without a fucking ring, you hear me?‘Til death do us part,” I repeated, stressing that bit to her. “That means I’m not leaving you over this shit. We’ll figure this out, but I’m not leaving you, not abandoning you.” I wrapped an arm around her waist and settled my hand over my name on her lower back. Her entire body shuddered against mine. “I didn’t put that there just to toss you aside, baby girl.”
She wrapped her arms around me with a sob. I blew out a soft breath and firmly wrapped her up in my arm, my other hand cradling her head against my chest. I pressed my lips to her hair, inhaling her sweet, intoxicating scent.
“I’m never going anywhere, baby girl. That’s my fucking vow to you, and it means as much to me as my oath to the club,” I promised her.
She nodded her head against my chest, not another word needed. Because she knew how seriously I took my oath to the Fathers of Mayhem.
I was binding myself to her for life.
I gently eased her back from me and gripped her face in my hands. Leaning down so she didn’t have to crane her neck, I slanted my lips across hers. “You’ve got me now and always, Reina.”
She sniffled. “It hurts,” she whispered. “I knew something would be wrong, but premature menopause?” She shook her head. “I never thought it could happen to me.”
I brushed her hair back from her face and brushed my nose with hers in a sweet Eskimo kiss. “I know you eventually wanted kids of your own.” She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut so I couldn’t see the pain residing there. I pressed my lips to her forehead. “Motherhood is not being tossed off the table for you, Reina.” She opened her eyes to look up at me. “We will try every fucking day, you hear me? If it happens, it’ll be a goddamn miracle that we cherish. If it doesn’t, we will adopt and give a child a chance at happiness that they might not have otherwise.”
She reached up with trembling fingers to cup my cheeks. “Why are you so perfect?”
I grinned at her. “I’m not, baby girl. I just love you.”
With that, I kissed her, and I didn’t stop kissing her until her tears were dried and she was begging me to take her home.
17
Sam
After finding out that Reina was going through premature menopause, she tried withdrawing from me. Keyword beingtried. I knew she wasn’t coping well, but like hell was I letting her pull back from me. We’d fought too long and too goddamn hard to get where we were now just for her to let something like this break our foundation.
Like fuck was I letting her go now that I had her.
Reina was my spot of color in the darkness I was living in. I wasn’t losing her. I wasn’t sure if I’d survive it if I did. She would destroy me. I already knew if I lost her, River would have to put a bullet between my eyes because I’d lose my fucking mind. I would no longer be reliable.