The governor led us down a labyrinth of corridors. He was walking too slowly, but even though I wasn’t the diplomat, I knew not to yell at him to move faster. The scent of food hit me before we arrived, and I knew—hoped—this was the right place. That our mate would be behind the door we were approaching.
I glanced at Niklas. I didn’t have to see the tense line of his shoulders to know he was as worried as I. The collars shared all his concerns with me. The last time we’d been with Lucy, she’d accepted the collar about her neck, but not our claim. Did she still feel the same way? Had she decided she didn’t want the collar any longer? Hell, had she removed it?
It was right then when I realized something, grabbed Niklas’s arm. He looked my way. “I don’t feel her.”
His eyes widened as he paused. “You’re right. Governor, has Lucy removed her collar?”
The governor rubbed his chin. “No. It is still black about her neck. You don’t feel her emotions?”
We shook our heads.
He tipped his, moved to stand so the doors sensed him and opened. “Then go find out why.”
I took a deep breath, resigned to whatever came next. We’d survived four days behind enemy territory. I’d done so with the motivation to get back to Lucy to tell her how I felt, how Niklas and I wanted to claim her. We’d take all the time she needed, but we would not be giving her up. We knew what life was like without her, and that was not a life we wanted to live.
* * *
Lucy
I tried to eat. I did. Rachel had even brought me my favorite pizza, fresh from the S-Gen machine.
But everything tasted like ash in my mouth. I was numb. I felt nothing because when I did feel, the only thing inside me was pain. So I buried it. Crushed it under my heel like an insect. Dead.
If I couldn’t feel what I had with Sam and Nik wrapped around me, I’d rather not feel anything.
We sat at a large, round table. Rachel and little Max were arguing about which vegetables he was going—or not going—to eat. The little boy was adorable, preferring Earth carrots over a bright yellow plant from Prillon Prime, but refusing to eat anything green.
Seemed that even in space, the green veggies came in a hard last.
Normally the thought would have made me smile, but now I felt nothing. I imagined that I was an android, a computer, someone like that character, Data, from Star Trek. Except hadn’t he wanted to be human? To feel emotion?
I was the opposite of late, perfectly content to feel nothing.
The Warlord, Braun, had been watching me with undisguised worry in his eyes. Even now he sat at the table next to Caroline and Rezzer, one twin on each of his knees. They adored him, as all the children did, and his singing voice was like an angel’s.
I hadn’t even known Atlans could sing until he’d taken a crying Emma a few days after our arrival and sung her to sleep in two minutes flat. That day had been a revelation, and Olivia had badgered Wulf until he relented and the two Warlords sang a loud, rollicking battle song that reminded me of a drunken Irish bar ditty. That day I’d made a friend. Braun was dear to me, but he wasn’t meant to be mine. And his beast did not demand he take me.
Neither one of us wanted to settle, but we had flirted with possibilities until I met my real mates.
And lost them.
A twinge of pain made me clutch at my stomach, and Rachel glanced at me from under her lashes, her hand moving to rest on top of mine where I’d kept my clenched fist hidden under the table.
I smiled my thanks as Braun listened to the twins’ chatter. To them, he was their Uncle B. He would make a wonderful mate and father.
Just not mine.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Rachel asked. “I can get you something else.”
“I’m fine. Thank you. You’ve done enough. Really.” I didn’t want pizza. I didn’t want anything. I just wanted to go back to my room and stare at the ceiling. Sleep. When I slept, I dreamed of Niklas and Sambor. In my dreams they were mine again.
Before she could offer to do anything else, I stood. Braun watched me with sad eyes, but we both knew the truth. Any chance we might have had to fall in love had been gone the moment I met my real mates.
“I’m not very hungry. I’m going to go back to my room.” I did my best to smile but knew the effort was weak and pathetic. “I’ll see everyone tomorrow.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams. Comm me if you need anything.” Rachel was too kind. She was a good friend. I knew Ryston was on patrol tonight, but where was the governor? He rarely missed spending time with his mate and son.
Turning, I heard his voice in the hallway just before the door to the room slid open.